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Ketubot 8

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Today’s daf is sponsored in loving memory of Rosalind Pineles, who passed away this week. “Rosalind loved family, Torah and Israel, was a champion of Chesed and the driving force behind women’s Torah study in her community. Dearly missed and remembered.”

Today’s daf is sponsored by Rina Baumel with gratitude to Rabbanit Michelle, Maggie, Mimi and the wonderful women of the Hadran community – my worldwide virtual chevruta.

What is the actual nusach of the blessings of the wedding (sheva brachot)? How many blessings are there? There is a debate about whether two of them are to be combined or said separately – the ones relating to the creation of humans. Are there separate as man and woman were created separately or are they together as they were created as two partzufim – at once. How many days are these blessings and the special zimun recited? Under what circumstances? The blessings for the mourner and for the wedding require a quorum of ten. Does the mourner/groom count as part of the ten? What is the language of the blessings for the mourner? To whom are each of the blessings addressed? A story is told of Reish Lakish where we learn the origins of these blessings. The rabbis instituted ten cups of wine for mourners and then added another four. But since it got people drunk, they reverted back to how it was previously. What did Rabban Gamliel do regarding burial shrouds that on account of him, they added an extra cup of wine (before they reverted back to the original)?

 

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Ketubot 8

שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ״.

Who has created all for His glory.

וְ״יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the second blessing is: Blessed are You…Creator of mankind.

וַ״אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the third blessing is: Blessed are You…Who made humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and out of His very self formed a building (see Genesis 2:22) for eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Creator of mankind.

״שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה, בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶיהָ״.

The fourth blessing is: May the barren city of Jerusalem greatly rejoice and delight with the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are You, Lord, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

״שַׂמֵּחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵיעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה״.

The fifth blessing is: Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in Eden in ancient times. Blessed are You, Lord, Who brings joy to the groom and bride.

״בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה, רִינָּה, דִּיצָה, חֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵיעוּת. מְהֵרָה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחוּפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה״.

The sixth blessing is: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has created joy and gladness, groom and bride, delight, exultation, happiness, jubilation, love and brotherhood, and peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may there be heard in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride, the joyous sound of grooms from their wedding canopy and of young people from their feast of song (see Jeremiah 33:11). Blessed are You, Lord, Who makes the groom rejoice with the bride. Together with the blessing over the wine, these are the seven wedding blessings.

לֵוִי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַבִּי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ חֲמֵשׁ. רַב אַסִּי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב אָשֵׁי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּמָר בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית.

The Gemara relates: Levi happened to come to the house of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi during the wedding celebration of Rabbi Shimon, his son, and recited five of these blessings. Rav Asi happened to come to the house of Rav Ashi during the wedding celebration of Mar, his son, and recited six of these blessings.

לֵימָא בְּהָא קָמִיפַּלְגִי: דְּמָר סָבַר חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי, וּמָר סָבַר שְׁתֵּי יְצִירוֹת הֲוַאי.

The Gemara suggests: Let us say that they disagree about this: One Sage holds: It was one act of creation with which man was created. And one Sage holds: It was two acts of creation with which man was created. The first opinion, that there was one act of creation, is based on the concept that man was created with two sides, one male and one female. There was no additional act of creation. Man and woman were subsequently separated into two independent beings. Therefore, there is no need for the two blessings: Who created mankind, and: Who created mankind in His image. The second opinion is that there were in fact two separate acts of creation. Therefore, it is appropriate to recite two blessings with regard to the creation of mankind.

לָא, דְּכוּלֵּי עָלְמָא חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי. מָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַחְשָׁבָה אָזְלִינַן, וּמָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַעֲשֶׂה אָזְלִינַן. כִּי הָא דְּרַב יְהוּדָה רָמֵי, כְּתִיב: ״וַיִּבְרָא אֱלֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ״, וּכְתִיב: ״זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בְּרָאָם״, הָא כֵּיצַד? בַּתְּחִלָּה עָלָה בְּמַחְשָׁבָה לִבְראוֹת שְׁנַיִם, וּלְבַסּוֹף נִבְרָא אֶחָד.

The Gemara rejects that suggestion: No, everyone agrees that it was only one act of creation. However, one Sage holds: It is according to the initial thought that we proceed. And one Sage holds: It is according to the action that we proceed. God’s initial thought was to create man and woman as separate entities. Ultimately, they were created as one entity. That explanation is like the following. Rav Yehuda raises a contradiction. In one verse it is written: “And God created man in His own image” (Genesis 1:27), indicating one act of creation, and in another verse it is written: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2), indicating two acts. How can this apparent contradiction be resolved? Initially, the thought entered God’s mind to create two, but ultimately only one was actually created.

רַב אָשֵׁי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב כָּהֲנָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ אִי אִיכָּא פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, וְאִי לָא — אַפּוֹשֵׁי שִׂמְחָה בְּעָלְמָא הוּא, מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״ וַ״אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא״.

The Gemara relates: Rav Ashi happened to come to the house of Rav Kahana to attend a wedding. The first day he recited all seven blessings. From that point forward, if there were new faces present, he recited all the blessings, and if not, he would say: It is merely an extension of the original celebration, and he would recite the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, in the zimmun prior to Grace after Meals, and the sixth blessing after Grace after Meals: Who has created.

מִשִּׁבְעָה וְעַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, בֵּין אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, וּבֵין לָא אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״, וְאִי לָא — לָא.

§ Apropos the wedding blessings, the Gemara continues: From seven days after the wedding until the thirtieth day, whether the groom said to the guests that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration or whether he did not say to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. From this point, thirty days after the wedding, forward, if he said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration [hillula], he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, and if not, he doesn’t.

וְכִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, עַד אֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פַּפִּי מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרָבָא: עַד תְּרֵיסַר יַרְחֵי שַׁתָּא. וּמֵעִיקָּרָא מֵאֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: מִכִּי רְמוּ שְׂעָרֵי בַּאֲסִינְתָּא. אִינִי? וְהָא רַב פָּפָּא אִיעֲסַק לְאַבָּא מָר בְּרֵיהּ, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין! שָׁאנֵי רַב פָּפָּא, דַּהֲוָה טְרִיחַ לֵיהּ.

The Gemara asks: And when the groom said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, until when is this blessing recited? Rav Pappi said in the name of Rava: Until twelve months of the year have passed since the wedding. Since his legal status remains that of a groom, the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, may be recited. The Gemara asks: And initially, prior to the wedding, from when is that blessing recited? Rav Pappa said: From when they cast barley into the mortar to prepare beer for the wedding. The Gemara asks: Is that so? But didn’t Rav Pappa involve himself in preparations for the wedding of his son, Abba Mar, and begin reciting the blessing from the time of betrothal? Rav Pappa is different, because the wedding preparations had already been prepared for him, and it was merely a matter of waiting for the designated time to arrive. Therefore, the wedding celebration began for him from the time of betrothal.

רָבִינָא אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַב חֲבִיבָא, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין. אָמַר: קִים לִי בְּגַוַּיְיהוּ דְּלָא הָדְרִי בְּהוּ. לָא אִסְתַּיַּיע מִילְּתָא וְהָדְרִי בְּהוּ. רַב תַּחְלִיפָא בַּר מַעְרְבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבָבֶל, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית אֲרִיכָתָא. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ.

The Gemara relates: Ravina arranged for his son to marry a woman from the house of Rav Ḥaviva and recited the blessing from the time of betrothal. He said: I am certain with regard to them, that they will not retract their commitment and terminate the betrothal, and the wedding will take place on time. Nevertheless, the matter was not to be, and ultimately they retracted their commitment, and the wedding was canceled. The Gemara relates: Rav Taḥlifa, from the West, i.e., Eretz Yisrael, happened to come to Babylonia, and he elaborated on the themes of the wedding blessings and recited six long blessings. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Rather, one must adhere to the formula coined by the Sages.

רַב חֲבִיבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי מָהוֹלָא, בָּרֵיךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ — מִשּׁוּם דִּטְרִידִי דְּאִית לֵיהּ צַעֲרָא לְיָנוֹקָא.

It is further related: Rav Ḥaviva happened to come to the house where a circumcision was taking place. He recited the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Since the parents of the baby are anxious, as the baby is experiencing pain, it is not appropriate to recite the blessing under those circumstances.

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן אָמַר רַב: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן! מַתְנִיתָא קָא רָמֵית עֲלֵיהּ דְּרַב? רַב תַּנָּא הוּא, וּפְלִיג. אִיתְּמַר, אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן!

§ Rav Naḥman said that Rav said: With regard to the quorum of ten required to recite the wedding blessings, grooms are included in the tally. And mourners are not included in the tally for the blessing of the mourners. The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally. The Gemara responds: Are you raising a contradiction from a baraita against the opinion of Rav? Rav himself had tanna status and therefore, unlike later amora’im, could disagree with opinions of tanna’im. It was stated: Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Grooms are included in the tally, but mourners are not included in the tally. The Gemara raises an objection from the baraita cited above: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally.

כִּי תַּנְיָא הָהִיא — בְּבִרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן, כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן — בְּשׁוּרָה.

The Gemara answers: When that baraita is taught, it is with regard to combining with others to form a quorum of three to recite Grace after Meals, as a mourner is obligated to recite Grace after Meals. However, when Rabbi Yoḥanan says that mourners are not included in the tally, it is with regard to the quorum of ten men required to form a line to comfort the mourners following the burial.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִים בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בְּרָכָה בְּשׁוּרָה מִי אִיכָּא? אֶלָּא כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בִּרְחָבָה.

And the Gemara raises an objection: However, that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten, and the grooms are included in the tally, and one recites the blessing of the mourners in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally. Is there a blessing recited in the line formed to comfort the mourners? Clearly, this statement of Rabbi Yoḥanan cannot be explained as referring to the line. Rather, when Rabbi Yoḥanan said that mourners are not included in the tally, it was with regard to the blessing recited in the square adjacent to the cemetery, where the meal of comfort takes place and various blessings are recited to comfort the mourners. Mourners are not included in the requisite quorum of ten.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִין בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בִּרְכַּת רְחָבָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה מִי אִיכָּא? מַשְׁכַּחַתְּ לַהּ בְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת.

The Gemara asks: However, with regard to that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten all seven days of celebration, and the grooms are included in the tally; and one recites the blessing of the mourners all seven days of mourning in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally, is there a blessing recited in the square all seven days? The meal of comfort and the associated blessings take place directly after the burial, not throughout the seven days of mourning. The Gemara answers: You find blessings recited throughout the seven-day mourning period in a case where new faces who did not attend the burial are present. In that case, eulogies and words of comfort are repeated, and the blessing of the mourners is recited again.

כִּי הָא דְּרַב חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא מַקְרֵי בְּנֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ מַתְנִי בְּרֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה. שְׁכֵיב לֵיהּ יָנוֹקָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא לָא אֲזַל לְגַבֵּיהּ. לִמְחַר דַּבְרֵיהּ לִיהוּדָה בַּר נַחְמָנִי מְתוּרְגְּמָנֵיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כׇּל קֳבֵיל יָנוֹקָא. פְּתַח וַאֲמַר: ״וַיַּרְא ה׳ וַיִּנְאָץ מִכַּעַס בָּנָיו וּבְנוֹתָיו״, דּוֹר שֶׁאָבוֹת מְנָאֲצִים לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא — כּוֹעֵס עַל בְּנֵיהֶם וְעַל בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם, וּמֵתִים כְּשֶׁהֵם קְטַנִּים.

§ This is similar to that incident involving Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba, who was the Bible teacher of the sons of Reish Lakish, and some say that he was the Mishna teacher of the son of Reish Lakish. His child died. On the first day, Reish Lakish did not go to comfort him. The next day, he took Yehuda bar Naḥmani, his disseminator, with him to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba. Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a matter of comfort with regard to the death of the child. He began and said: “And the Lord saw it and He abhorred them, due to the provocation of His sons and His daughters” (Deuteronomy 32:19). A generation in which the fathers abhor the Holy One, Blessed be He, He is angered at their sons and their daughters, and they die when they are small.

וְאִיכָּא דְּאָמְרִי בָּחוּר הֲוָה. וְהָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: ״עַל כֵּן עַל בַּחוּרָיו לֹא יִשְׂמַח ה׳ וְאֶת יְתוֹמָיו וְאֶת אַלְמְנוֹתָיו לֹא יְרַחֵם כִּי כֻלּוֹ חָנֵף וּמֵרַע וְכׇל פֶּה דֹּבֵר נְבָלָה בְּכׇל זֹאת לֹא שָׁב אַפּוֹ וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״. מַאי ״וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״? אָמַר רַב חָנָן בַּר רַב: הַכֹּל יוֹדְעִין כַּלָּה לָמָּה נִכְנְסָה לַחוּפָּה. אֶלָּא, כׇּל הַמְנַבֵּל פִּיו, וּמוֹצִיא דְּבַר נְבָלָה מִפִּיו, אֲפִלּוּ נֶחְתַּם לוֹ גְּזַר דִּינוֹ שֶׁל שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה לְטוֹבָה — נֶהְפָּךְ עָלָיו לְרָעָה.

And there are those who say that the child who died was not a small child, but a youth, and this is what the disseminator said to him: “Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, nor shall He have compassion on their orphans and widows, for everyone is a flatterer and an evildoer, and every mouth speaks obscenity. For all this His anger is not turned away, and His hand is still outstretched” (Isaiah 9:16). What is the meaning of the phrase “And His hand is still outstretched”? Rav Ḥanan bar Rav said: Everyone knows why a bride enters the wedding canopy. It is the step before consummation of the marriage. However, one should not speak about it unnecessarily, as anyone who profanes his mouth and issues a matter of profanity from his mouth, even if a positive decree of seventy years was sealed for him, nevertheless, it is transformed for him into an evil decree.

אֲתָא לְנַחוֹמֵי — צַעוֹרֵי קָמְצַעַר לֵיהּ! הָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: חֲשִׁיב אַתְּ לְאִתְּפוֹסֵי אַדָּרָא.

The Gemara asks about this incident: He came at the behest of Reish Lakish to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and instead he upset him by attributing the death of his son to his transgressions! The Gemara answers: It was not his intention to upset Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and to attribute the death of his son to his actions. Rather, this is what he is saying to him: You are sufficiently significant to be seized, i.e., to die or suffer, for the sins of the generation, as it is specifically the righteous few who are punished for the transgressions of a sinful generation.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד שְׁבָחוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״הָאֵל הַגָּדוֹל בְּרוֹב גׇּדְלוֹ, אַדִּיר וְחָזָק בְּרוֹב נוֹרָאוֹת, מְחַיֵּה מֵתִים בְּמַאֲמָרוֹ, עוֹשֶׂה גְדוֹלוֹת עַד אֵין חֵקֶר וְנִפְלָאוֹת עַד אֵין מִסְפָּר. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים״.

Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the praiseworthiness of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He began and said: God, Who is great in the abundance of His greatness, mighty and strong in the abundance of His awesome deeds, Who revives the dead in fulfillment of His statement, Who does great deeds beyond comprehension, wondrous deeds without number. Blessed are You, Lord, Who revives the dead.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד אֲבֵלִים, פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ הַמְיוּגָּעִים, הַמְדוּכָּאִין בָּאֵבֶל הַזֶּה, תְּנוּ לְבַבְכֶם לַחְקוֹר אֶת זֹאת. זֹאת הִיא עוֹמֶדֶת לָעַד, נָתִיב הוּא מִשֵּׁשֶׁת יְמֵי בְרֵאשִׁית. רַבִּים שָׁתוּ, רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ. כְּמִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים כָּךְ מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים. אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל נֶחָמוֹת יְנַחֵם אֶתְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים״.

Reish Lakish said to him: Stand and say a statement with regard to the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed by this mourning, set your heart to examine this: This is what stands forever. It is a path from the six days of Creation, i.e., death exists since Creation, and it is well known that this is the fate of man. Many have drunk from the poisonous cup of death, and many will drink. As was the consequence of the drink of the first who have drunk, so too will be the consequence of the drink of the last who will drink. Our brothers, may the Master of solace comfort you. Blessed are You, Lord, Who comforts the mourners.

אָמַר אַבָּיֵי: ״רַבִּים שָׁתוּ״ — לֵימָא. ״רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ״ — לָא לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים״ — לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים״ — לָא לֵימָא. דְּאָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, וְכֵן תָּנָא מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יִפְתַּח אָדָם פִּיו לַשָּׂטָן. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף, מַאי קְרָא: ״כִּסְדוֹם הָיִינוּ לַעֲמוֹרָה דָּמִינוּ״. מַאי אַהְדַּר לֵיהּ — ״שִׁמְעוּ דְבַר ה׳ קְצִינֵי סְדוֹם וְגוֹ׳״.

Abaye said with regard to the statement concerning the mourners: Let him say: Many have drunk; let him not say: Many will drink. Let him say: The drink of the first; let him not say: The drink of the last. This is as Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said, and likewise it was taught in the name of Rabbi Yosei: A person should never open his mouth to Satan and speculate about potential disasters. Rav Yosef said: What is the verse from which it is derived? “We should have almost been as Sodom, we should have been like unto Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:9), after which, what did the prophet reply to them? “Hear the word of the Lord, rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, people of Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:10). Isaiah drew the analogy and immediately it was realized.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד מְנַחֲמֵי אֲבֵלִים. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים בְּנֵי גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים, הַמַּחְזִיקִים בִּבְרִיתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ (שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ׳כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו וְגוֹ׳׳). אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל הַגְּמוּל יְשַׁלֵּם לָכֶם גְּמוּלְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, מְשַׁלֵּם הַגְּמוּל״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to those who comfort the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, bestowers of loving-kindness, sons of bestowers of loving-kindness, who embrace the covenant of Abraham our Patriarch, as it is stated: “For I know him, that he will command his children…to do righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). Our brothers, may the Master of reward pay you your just deserts. Blessed are You, Lord, Who pays the just deserts.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד כׇּל יִשְׂרָאֵל. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים, פְּדֵה וְהַצֵּל, מַלֵּט, הוֹשַׁע עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַדֶּבֶר וּמִן הַחֶרֶב וּמִן הַבִּיזָּה וּמִן הַשִּׁדָּפוֹן וּמִן הַיֵּרָקוֹן וּמִכׇּל מִינֵי פּוּרְעָנִיּוֹת הַמִּתְרַגְּשׁוֹת וּבָאוֹת לָעוֹלָם, טֶרֶם נִקְרָא וְאַתָּה תַּעֲנֶה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, עוֹצֵר הַמַּגֵּפָה״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the entire Jewish people. He began and said: Master of the worlds, redeem and save, rescue and deliver Your people, Israel, from the pestilence and from the sword, and from spoil, and from the blight, and from the mildew, and from all types of afflictions that suddenly erupt and come to the world. Before we call and You will respond. Blessed are You, Lord, Who halts the plague. Apparently, several blessings are recited on the days following the burial.

אֲמַר עוּלָּא, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ בְּמַתְנִיתָא תָּנָא: עֲשָׂרָה כּוֹסוֹת תִּקְּנוּ חֲכָמִים בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל: שְׁלֹשָׁה קוֹדֶם אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִפְתּוֹחַ אֶת בְּנֵי מֵעָיו. שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּתוֹךְ אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִשְׁרוֹת אֲכִילָה שֶׁבְּמֵעָיו. וְאַרְבָּעָה לְאַחַר אֲכִילָה, אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַזָּן״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בִּרְכַּת הָאָרֶץ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״בּוֹנֵה יְרוּשָׁלָיִם״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַטּוֹב וְהַמֵּטִיב״.

§ In connection with comforting mourners, Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: The Sages instituted ten cups of wine to be drunk in the house of the mourner: Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines, i.e., whet his appetite; three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines in order to facilitate digestion; and four cups after the meal, each corresponding to a blessing in the Grace after Meals. One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all; one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land; one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem; and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.

הוֹסִיפוּ עֲלֵיהֶם אַרְבָּעָה: אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד חַזָּנֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד פַּרְנָסֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל. הִתְחִילוּ (הָיוּ) שׁוֹתִין וּמִשְׁתַּכְּרִין, הֶחְזִירוּ הַדָּבָר לְיוֹשְׁנָהּ.

Later, the Sages added to those four additional blessings: One, noting the actions of the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir], who tend to burials and other communal needs; one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city, who would provide funding for the burial of the poor; one, noting the Temple, commemorating its destruction; and one, noting the actions of Rabban Gamliel. The people began observing this ordinance instituted by the Sages, and they would drink and become intoxicated. Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status and established that they drink no more than ten cups.

מַאי רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל? דְּתַנְיָא: בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה הָיְתָה הוֹצָאַת הַמֵּת קָשָׁה לִקְרוֹבָיו יוֹתֵר מִמִּיתָתוֹ, עַד שֶׁהָיוּ מַנִּיחִים אוֹתוֹ וּבוֹרְחִין. עַד שֶׁבָּא רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל וְנָהַג קַלּוּת בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְהוֹצִיאוּהוּ בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. וְנָהֲגוּ כׇּל הָעָם אַחֲרָיו לְהוֹצִיא בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. אֲמַר רַב פָּפָּא: וְהָאִידָּנָא נְהוּג עָלְמָא אֲפִילּוּ בְּצַרְדָּא בַּר זוּזָא.

What is the connection between Rabban Gamliel and a house of mourning? It is as it is taught in a baraita: Initially, the funeral expenditures for the deceased were more taxing for his relatives than his death, as the burials were opulent, until it reached a point where people would abandon the deceased and flee. This continued until Rabbi Gamliel came and conducted himself in a self-deprecatory manner, instructing the people that they were to take him for burial in plain linen garments. And all the people conducted themselves following his example, and instructed their families to take them for burial in plain linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And today, everyone is accustomed to bury the dead in plain garments, even in rough cloth [tzerada] worth one zuz.

אֲמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר:

Rabbi Elazar said:

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Rhondda May

Atlanta, Georgia, United States

Studying has changed my life view on הלכה and יהדות and time. It has taught me bonudaries of the human nature and honesty of our sages in their discourse to try and build a nation of caring people .

Goldie Gilad
Goldie Gilad

Kfar Saba, Israel

I started learning Daf in Jan 2020 with Brachot b/c I had never seen the Jewish people united around something so positive, and I wanted to be a part of it. Also, I wanted to broaden my background in Torah Shebal Peh- Maayanot gave me a great gemara education, but I knew that I could hold a conversation in most parts of tanach but almost no TSB. I’m so thankful for Daf and have gained immensely.

Meira Shapiro
Meira Shapiro

NJ, United States

“I got my job through the NY Times” was an ad campaign when I was growing up. I can headline “I got my daily Daf shiur and Hadran through the NY Times”. I read the January 4, 2020 feature on Reb. Michelle Farber and Hadran and I have been participating ever since. Thanks NY Times & Hadran!
Deborah Aschheim
Deborah Aschheim

New York, United States

A few years back, after reading Ilana Kurshan’s book, “If All The Seas Were Ink,” I began pondering the crazy, outlandish idea of beginning the Daf Yomi cycle. Beginning in December, 2019, a month before the previous cycle ended, I “auditioned” 30 different podcasts in 30 days, and ultimately chose to take the plunge with Hadran and Rabbanit Michelle. Such joy!

Cindy Dolgin
Cindy Dolgin

HUNTINGTON, United States

I began to learn this cycle of Daf Yomi after my husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago. It seemed a good way to connect to him. Even though I don’t know whether he would have encouraged women learning Gemara, it would have opened wonderful conversations. It also gives me more depth for understanding my frum children and grandchildren. Thank you Hadran and Rabbanit Michelle Farber!!

Harriet Hartman
Harriet Hartman

Tzur Hadassah, Israel

After being so inspired by the siyum shas two years ago, I began tentatively learning daf yomi, like Rabbanut Michelle kept saying – taking one daf at a time. I’m still taking it one daf at a time, one masechet at a time, but I’m loving it and am still so inspired by Rabbanit Michelle and the Hadran community, and yes – I am proud to be finishing Seder Mo’ed.

Caroline Graham-Ofstein
Caroline Graham-Ofstein

Bet Shemesh, Israel

I started learning at the beginning of the cycle after a friend persuaded me that it would be right up my alley. I was lucky enough to learn at Rabbanit Michelle’s house before it started on zoom and it was quickly part of my daily routine. I find it so important to see for myself where halachot were derived, where stories were told and to get more insight into how the Rabbis interacted.

Deborah Dickson
Deborah Dickson

Ra’anana, Israel

At almost 70 I am just beginning my journey with Talmud and Hadran. I began not late, but right when I was called to learn. It is never too late to begin! The understanding patience of staff and participants with more experience and knowledge has been fabulous. The joy of learning never stops and for me. It is a new life, a new light, a new depth of love of The Holy One, Blessed be He.
Deborah Hoffman-Wade
Deborah Hoffman-Wade

Richmond, CA, United States

I’ve been learning since January 2020, and in June I started drawing a phrase from each daf. Sometimes it’s easy (e.g. plants), sometimes it’s very hard (e.g. korbanot), and sometimes it’s loads of fun (e.g. bird racing) to find something to draw. I upload my pictures from each masechet to #DafYomiArt. I am enjoying every step of the journey.

Gila Loike
Gila Loike

Ashdod, Israel

I tried Daf Yomi in the middle of the last cycle after realizing I could listen to Michelle’s shiurim online. It lasted all of 2 days! Then the new cycle started just days before my father’s first yahrzeit and my youngest daughter’s bat mitzvah. It seemed the right time for a new beginning. My family, friends, colleagues are immensely supportive!

Catriella-Freedman-jpeg
Catriella Freedman

Zichron Yaakov, Israel

I started to listen to Michelle’s podcasts four years ago. The minute I started I was hooked. I’m so excited to learn the entire Talmud, and think I will continue always. I chose the quote “while a woman is engaged in conversation she also holds the spindle”. (Megillah 14b). It reminds me of all of the amazing women I learn with every day who multi-task, think ahead and accomplish so much.

Julie Mendelsohn
Julie Mendelsohn

Zichron Yakov, Israel

In January 2020, my teaching partner at IDC suggested we do daf yomi. Thanks to her challenge, I started learning daily from Rabbanit Michelle. It’s a joy to be part of the Hadran community. (It’s also a tikkun: in 7th grade, my best friend and I tied for first place in a citywide gemara exam, but we weren’t invited to the celebration because girls weren’t supposed to be learning gemara).

Sara-Averick-photo-scaled
Sara Averick

Jerusalem, Israel

I started with Ze Kollel in Berlin, directed by Jeremy Borowitz for Hillel Deutschland. We read Masechet Megillah chapter 4 and each participant wrote his commentary on a Sugia that particularly impressed him. I wrote six poems about different Sugiot! Fascinated by the discussions on Talmud I continued to learn with Rabanit Michelle Farber and am currently taking part in the Tikun Olam course.
Yael Merlini
Yael Merlini

Berlin, Germany

In January 2020 on a Shabbaton to Baltimore I heard about the new cycle of Daf Yomi after the siyum celebration in NYC stadium. I started to read “ a daily dose of Talmud “ and really enjoyed it . It led me to google “ do Orthodox women study Talmud? “ and found HADRAN! Since then I listen to the podcast every morning, participate in classes and siyum. I love to learn, this is amazing! Thank you

Sandrine Simons
Sandrine Simons

Atlanta, United States

I started learning Daf Yomi because my sister, Ruth Leah Kahan, attended Michelle’s class in person and suggested I listen remotely. She always sat near Michelle and spoke up during class so that I could hear her voice. Our mom had just died unexpectedly and it made me feel connected to hear Ruth Leah’s voice, and now to know we are both listening to the same thing daily, continents apart.
Jessica Shklar
Jessica Shklar

Philadelphia, United States

After all the hype on the 2020 siyum I became inspired by a friend to begin learning as the new cycle began.with no background in studying Talmud it was a bit daunting in the beginning. my husband began at the same time so we decided to study on shabbat together. The reaction from my 3 daughters has been fantastic. They are very proud. It’s been a great challenge for my brain which is so healthy!

Stacey Goodstein Ashtamker
Stacey Goodstein Ashtamker

Modi’in, Israel

I started learning after the siyum hashas for women and my daily learning has been a constant over the last two years. It grounded me during the chaos of Corona while providing me with a community of fellow learners. The Daf can be challenging but it’s filled with life’s lessons, struggles and hope for a better world. It’s not about the destination but rather about the journey. Thank you Hadran!

Dena Lehrman
Dena Lehrman

אפרת, Israel

Ketubot 8

שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ״.

Who has created all for His glory.

וְ״יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the second blessing is: Blessed are You…Creator of mankind.

וַ״אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the third blessing is: Blessed are You…Who made humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and out of His very self formed a building (see Genesis 2:22) for eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Creator of mankind.

״שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה, בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶיהָ״.

The fourth blessing is: May the barren city of Jerusalem greatly rejoice and delight with the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are You, Lord, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

״שַׂמֵּחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵיעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה״.

The fifth blessing is: Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in Eden in ancient times. Blessed are You, Lord, Who brings joy to the groom and bride.

״בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה, רִינָּה, דִּיצָה, חֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵיעוּת. מְהֵרָה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחוּפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה״.

The sixth blessing is: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has created joy and gladness, groom and bride, delight, exultation, happiness, jubilation, love and brotherhood, and peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may there be heard in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride, the joyous sound of grooms from their wedding canopy and of young people from their feast of song (see Jeremiah 33:11). Blessed are You, Lord, Who makes the groom rejoice with the bride. Together with the blessing over the wine, these are the seven wedding blessings.

לֵוִי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַבִּי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ חֲמֵשׁ. רַב אַסִּי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב אָשֵׁי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּמָר בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית.

The Gemara relates: Levi happened to come to the house of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi during the wedding celebration of Rabbi Shimon, his son, and recited five of these blessings. Rav Asi happened to come to the house of Rav Ashi during the wedding celebration of Mar, his son, and recited six of these blessings.

לֵימָא בְּהָא קָמִיפַּלְגִי: דְּמָר סָבַר חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי, וּמָר סָבַר שְׁתֵּי יְצִירוֹת הֲוַאי.

The Gemara suggests: Let us say that they disagree about this: One Sage holds: It was one act of creation with which man was created. And one Sage holds: It was two acts of creation with which man was created. The first opinion, that there was one act of creation, is based on the concept that man was created with two sides, one male and one female. There was no additional act of creation. Man and woman were subsequently separated into two independent beings. Therefore, there is no need for the two blessings: Who created mankind, and: Who created mankind in His image. The second opinion is that there were in fact two separate acts of creation. Therefore, it is appropriate to recite two blessings with regard to the creation of mankind.

לָא, דְּכוּלֵּי עָלְמָא חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי. מָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַחְשָׁבָה אָזְלִינַן, וּמָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַעֲשֶׂה אָזְלִינַן. כִּי הָא דְּרַב יְהוּדָה רָמֵי, כְּתִיב: ״וַיִּבְרָא אֱלֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ״, וּכְתִיב: ״זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בְּרָאָם״, הָא כֵּיצַד? בַּתְּחִלָּה עָלָה בְּמַחְשָׁבָה לִבְראוֹת שְׁנַיִם, וּלְבַסּוֹף נִבְרָא אֶחָד.

The Gemara rejects that suggestion: No, everyone agrees that it was only one act of creation. However, one Sage holds: It is according to the initial thought that we proceed. And one Sage holds: It is according to the action that we proceed. God’s initial thought was to create man and woman as separate entities. Ultimately, they were created as one entity. That explanation is like the following. Rav Yehuda raises a contradiction. In one verse it is written: “And God created man in His own image” (Genesis 1:27), indicating one act of creation, and in another verse it is written: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2), indicating two acts. How can this apparent contradiction be resolved? Initially, the thought entered God’s mind to create two, but ultimately only one was actually created.

רַב אָשֵׁי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב כָּהֲנָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ אִי אִיכָּא פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, וְאִי לָא — אַפּוֹשֵׁי שִׂמְחָה בְּעָלְמָא הוּא, מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״ וַ״אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא״.

The Gemara relates: Rav Ashi happened to come to the house of Rav Kahana to attend a wedding. The first day he recited all seven blessings. From that point forward, if there were new faces present, he recited all the blessings, and if not, he would say: It is merely an extension of the original celebration, and he would recite the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, in the zimmun prior to Grace after Meals, and the sixth blessing after Grace after Meals: Who has created.

מִשִּׁבְעָה וְעַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, בֵּין אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, וּבֵין לָא אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״, וְאִי לָא — לָא.

§ Apropos the wedding blessings, the Gemara continues: From seven days after the wedding until the thirtieth day, whether the groom said to the guests that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration or whether he did not say to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. From this point, thirty days after the wedding, forward, if he said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration [hillula], he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, and if not, he doesn’t.

וְכִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, עַד אֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פַּפִּי מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרָבָא: עַד תְּרֵיסַר יַרְחֵי שַׁתָּא. וּמֵעִיקָּרָא מֵאֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: מִכִּי רְמוּ שְׂעָרֵי בַּאֲסִינְתָּא. אִינִי? וְהָא רַב פָּפָּא אִיעֲסַק לְאַבָּא מָר בְּרֵיהּ, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין! שָׁאנֵי רַב פָּפָּא, דַּהֲוָה טְרִיחַ לֵיהּ.

The Gemara asks: And when the groom said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, until when is this blessing recited? Rav Pappi said in the name of Rava: Until twelve months of the year have passed since the wedding. Since his legal status remains that of a groom, the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, may be recited. The Gemara asks: And initially, prior to the wedding, from when is that blessing recited? Rav Pappa said: From when they cast barley into the mortar to prepare beer for the wedding. The Gemara asks: Is that so? But didn’t Rav Pappa involve himself in preparations for the wedding of his son, Abba Mar, and begin reciting the blessing from the time of betrothal? Rav Pappa is different, because the wedding preparations had already been prepared for him, and it was merely a matter of waiting for the designated time to arrive. Therefore, the wedding celebration began for him from the time of betrothal.

רָבִינָא אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַב חֲבִיבָא, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין. אָמַר: קִים לִי בְּגַוַּיְיהוּ דְּלָא הָדְרִי בְּהוּ. לָא אִסְתַּיַּיע מִילְּתָא וְהָדְרִי בְּהוּ. רַב תַּחְלִיפָא בַּר מַעְרְבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבָבֶל, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית אֲרִיכָתָא. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ.

The Gemara relates: Ravina arranged for his son to marry a woman from the house of Rav Ḥaviva and recited the blessing from the time of betrothal. He said: I am certain with regard to them, that they will not retract their commitment and terminate the betrothal, and the wedding will take place on time. Nevertheless, the matter was not to be, and ultimately they retracted their commitment, and the wedding was canceled. The Gemara relates: Rav Taḥlifa, from the West, i.e., Eretz Yisrael, happened to come to Babylonia, and he elaborated on the themes of the wedding blessings and recited six long blessings. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Rather, one must adhere to the formula coined by the Sages.

רַב חֲבִיבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי מָהוֹלָא, בָּרֵיךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ — מִשּׁוּם דִּטְרִידִי דְּאִית לֵיהּ צַעֲרָא לְיָנוֹקָא.

It is further related: Rav Ḥaviva happened to come to the house where a circumcision was taking place. He recited the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Since the parents of the baby are anxious, as the baby is experiencing pain, it is not appropriate to recite the blessing under those circumstances.

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן אָמַר רַב: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן! מַתְנִיתָא קָא רָמֵית עֲלֵיהּ דְּרַב? רַב תַּנָּא הוּא, וּפְלִיג. אִיתְּמַר, אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן!

§ Rav Naḥman said that Rav said: With regard to the quorum of ten required to recite the wedding blessings, grooms are included in the tally. And mourners are not included in the tally for the blessing of the mourners. The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally. The Gemara responds: Are you raising a contradiction from a baraita against the opinion of Rav? Rav himself had tanna status and therefore, unlike later amora’im, could disagree with opinions of tanna’im. It was stated: Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Grooms are included in the tally, but mourners are not included in the tally. The Gemara raises an objection from the baraita cited above: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally.

כִּי תַּנְיָא הָהִיא — בְּבִרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן, כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן — בְּשׁוּרָה.

The Gemara answers: When that baraita is taught, it is with regard to combining with others to form a quorum of three to recite Grace after Meals, as a mourner is obligated to recite Grace after Meals. However, when Rabbi Yoḥanan says that mourners are not included in the tally, it is with regard to the quorum of ten men required to form a line to comfort the mourners following the burial.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִים בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בְּרָכָה בְּשׁוּרָה מִי אִיכָּא? אֶלָּא כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בִּרְחָבָה.

And the Gemara raises an objection: However, that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten, and the grooms are included in the tally, and one recites the blessing of the mourners in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally. Is there a blessing recited in the line formed to comfort the mourners? Clearly, this statement of Rabbi Yoḥanan cannot be explained as referring to the line. Rather, when Rabbi Yoḥanan said that mourners are not included in the tally, it was with regard to the blessing recited in the square adjacent to the cemetery, where the meal of comfort takes place and various blessings are recited to comfort the mourners. Mourners are not included in the requisite quorum of ten.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִין בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בִּרְכַּת רְחָבָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה מִי אִיכָּא? מַשְׁכַּחַתְּ לַהּ בְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת.

The Gemara asks: However, with regard to that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten all seven days of celebration, and the grooms are included in the tally; and one recites the blessing of the mourners all seven days of mourning in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally, is there a blessing recited in the square all seven days? The meal of comfort and the associated blessings take place directly after the burial, not throughout the seven days of mourning. The Gemara answers: You find blessings recited throughout the seven-day mourning period in a case where new faces who did not attend the burial are present. In that case, eulogies and words of comfort are repeated, and the blessing of the mourners is recited again.

כִּי הָא דְּרַב חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא מַקְרֵי בְּנֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ מַתְנִי בְּרֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה. שְׁכֵיב לֵיהּ יָנוֹקָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא לָא אֲזַל לְגַבֵּיהּ. לִמְחַר דַּבְרֵיהּ לִיהוּדָה בַּר נַחְמָנִי מְתוּרְגְּמָנֵיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כׇּל קֳבֵיל יָנוֹקָא. פְּתַח וַאֲמַר: ״וַיַּרְא ה׳ וַיִּנְאָץ מִכַּעַס בָּנָיו וּבְנוֹתָיו״, דּוֹר שֶׁאָבוֹת מְנָאֲצִים לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא — כּוֹעֵס עַל בְּנֵיהֶם וְעַל בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם, וּמֵתִים כְּשֶׁהֵם קְטַנִּים.

§ This is similar to that incident involving Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba, who was the Bible teacher of the sons of Reish Lakish, and some say that he was the Mishna teacher of the son of Reish Lakish. His child died. On the first day, Reish Lakish did not go to comfort him. The next day, he took Yehuda bar Naḥmani, his disseminator, with him to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba. Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a matter of comfort with regard to the death of the child. He began and said: “And the Lord saw it and He abhorred them, due to the provocation of His sons and His daughters” (Deuteronomy 32:19). A generation in which the fathers abhor the Holy One, Blessed be He, He is angered at their sons and their daughters, and they die when they are small.

וְאִיכָּא דְּאָמְרִי בָּחוּר הֲוָה. וְהָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: ״עַל כֵּן עַל בַּחוּרָיו לֹא יִשְׂמַח ה׳ וְאֶת יְתוֹמָיו וְאֶת אַלְמְנוֹתָיו לֹא יְרַחֵם כִּי כֻלּוֹ חָנֵף וּמֵרַע וְכׇל פֶּה דֹּבֵר נְבָלָה בְּכׇל זֹאת לֹא שָׁב אַפּוֹ וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״. מַאי ״וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״? אָמַר רַב חָנָן בַּר רַב: הַכֹּל יוֹדְעִין כַּלָּה לָמָּה נִכְנְסָה לַחוּפָּה. אֶלָּא, כׇּל הַמְנַבֵּל פִּיו, וּמוֹצִיא דְּבַר נְבָלָה מִפִּיו, אֲפִלּוּ נֶחְתַּם לוֹ גְּזַר דִּינוֹ שֶׁל שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה לְטוֹבָה — נֶהְפָּךְ עָלָיו לְרָעָה.

And there are those who say that the child who died was not a small child, but a youth, and this is what the disseminator said to him: “Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, nor shall He have compassion on their orphans and widows, for everyone is a flatterer and an evildoer, and every mouth speaks obscenity. For all this His anger is not turned away, and His hand is still outstretched” (Isaiah 9:16). What is the meaning of the phrase “And His hand is still outstretched”? Rav Ḥanan bar Rav said: Everyone knows why a bride enters the wedding canopy. It is the step before consummation of the marriage. However, one should not speak about it unnecessarily, as anyone who profanes his mouth and issues a matter of profanity from his mouth, even if a positive decree of seventy years was sealed for him, nevertheless, it is transformed for him into an evil decree.

אֲתָא לְנַחוֹמֵי — צַעוֹרֵי קָמְצַעַר לֵיהּ! הָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: חֲשִׁיב אַתְּ לְאִתְּפוֹסֵי אַדָּרָא.

The Gemara asks about this incident: He came at the behest of Reish Lakish to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and instead he upset him by attributing the death of his son to his transgressions! The Gemara answers: It was not his intention to upset Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and to attribute the death of his son to his actions. Rather, this is what he is saying to him: You are sufficiently significant to be seized, i.e., to die or suffer, for the sins of the generation, as it is specifically the righteous few who are punished for the transgressions of a sinful generation.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד שְׁבָחוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״הָאֵל הַגָּדוֹל בְּרוֹב גׇּדְלוֹ, אַדִּיר וְחָזָק בְּרוֹב נוֹרָאוֹת, מְחַיֵּה מֵתִים בְּמַאֲמָרוֹ, עוֹשֶׂה גְדוֹלוֹת עַד אֵין חֵקֶר וְנִפְלָאוֹת עַד אֵין מִסְפָּר. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים״.

Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the praiseworthiness of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He began and said: God, Who is great in the abundance of His greatness, mighty and strong in the abundance of His awesome deeds, Who revives the dead in fulfillment of His statement, Who does great deeds beyond comprehension, wondrous deeds without number. Blessed are You, Lord, Who revives the dead.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד אֲבֵלִים, פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ הַמְיוּגָּעִים, הַמְדוּכָּאִין בָּאֵבֶל הַזֶּה, תְּנוּ לְבַבְכֶם לַחְקוֹר אֶת זֹאת. זֹאת הִיא עוֹמֶדֶת לָעַד, נָתִיב הוּא מִשֵּׁשֶׁת יְמֵי בְרֵאשִׁית. רַבִּים שָׁתוּ, רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ. כְּמִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים כָּךְ מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים. אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל נֶחָמוֹת יְנַחֵם אֶתְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים״.

Reish Lakish said to him: Stand and say a statement with regard to the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed by this mourning, set your heart to examine this: This is what stands forever. It is a path from the six days of Creation, i.e., death exists since Creation, and it is well known that this is the fate of man. Many have drunk from the poisonous cup of death, and many will drink. As was the consequence of the drink of the first who have drunk, so too will be the consequence of the drink of the last who will drink. Our brothers, may the Master of solace comfort you. Blessed are You, Lord, Who comforts the mourners.

אָמַר אַבָּיֵי: ״רַבִּים שָׁתוּ״ — לֵימָא. ״רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ״ — לָא לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים״ — לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים״ — לָא לֵימָא. דְּאָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, וְכֵן תָּנָא מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יִפְתַּח אָדָם פִּיו לַשָּׂטָן. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף, מַאי קְרָא: ״כִּסְדוֹם הָיִינוּ לַעֲמוֹרָה דָּמִינוּ״. מַאי אַהְדַּר לֵיהּ — ״שִׁמְעוּ דְבַר ה׳ קְצִינֵי סְדוֹם וְגוֹ׳״.

Abaye said with regard to the statement concerning the mourners: Let him say: Many have drunk; let him not say: Many will drink. Let him say: The drink of the first; let him not say: The drink of the last. This is as Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said, and likewise it was taught in the name of Rabbi Yosei: A person should never open his mouth to Satan and speculate about potential disasters. Rav Yosef said: What is the verse from which it is derived? “We should have almost been as Sodom, we should have been like unto Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:9), after which, what did the prophet reply to them? “Hear the word of the Lord, rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, people of Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:10). Isaiah drew the analogy and immediately it was realized.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד מְנַחֲמֵי אֲבֵלִים. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים בְּנֵי גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים, הַמַּחְזִיקִים בִּבְרִיתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ (שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ׳כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו וְגוֹ׳׳). אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל הַגְּמוּל יְשַׁלֵּם לָכֶם גְּמוּלְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, מְשַׁלֵּם הַגְּמוּל״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to those who comfort the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, bestowers of loving-kindness, sons of bestowers of loving-kindness, who embrace the covenant of Abraham our Patriarch, as it is stated: “For I know him, that he will command his children…to do righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). Our brothers, may the Master of reward pay you your just deserts. Blessed are You, Lord, Who pays the just deserts.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד כׇּל יִשְׂרָאֵל. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים, פְּדֵה וְהַצֵּל, מַלֵּט, הוֹשַׁע עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַדֶּבֶר וּמִן הַחֶרֶב וּמִן הַבִּיזָּה וּמִן הַשִּׁדָּפוֹן וּמִן הַיֵּרָקוֹן וּמִכׇּל מִינֵי פּוּרְעָנִיּוֹת הַמִּתְרַגְּשׁוֹת וּבָאוֹת לָעוֹלָם, טֶרֶם נִקְרָא וְאַתָּה תַּעֲנֶה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, עוֹצֵר הַמַּגֵּפָה״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the entire Jewish people. He began and said: Master of the worlds, redeem and save, rescue and deliver Your people, Israel, from the pestilence and from the sword, and from spoil, and from the blight, and from the mildew, and from all types of afflictions that suddenly erupt and come to the world. Before we call and You will respond. Blessed are You, Lord, Who halts the plague. Apparently, several blessings are recited on the days following the burial.

אֲמַר עוּלָּא, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ בְּמַתְנִיתָא תָּנָא: עֲשָׂרָה כּוֹסוֹת תִּקְּנוּ חֲכָמִים בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל: שְׁלֹשָׁה קוֹדֶם אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִפְתּוֹחַ אֶת בְּנֵי מֵעָיו. שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּתוֹךְ אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִשְׁרוֹת אֲכִילָה שֶׁבְּמֵעָיו. וְאַרְבָּעָה לְאַחַר אֲכִילָה, אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַזָּן״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בִּרְכַּת הָאָרֶץ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״בּוֹנֵה יְרוּשָׁלָיִם״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַטּוֹב וְהַמֵּטִיב״.

§ In connection with comforting mourners, Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: The Sages instituted ten cups of wine to be drunk in the house of the mourner: Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines, i.e., whet his appetite; three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines in order to facilitate digestion; and four cups after the meal, each corresponding to a blessing in the Grace after Meals. One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all; one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land; one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem; and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.

הוֹסִיפוּ עֲלֵיהֶם אַרְבָּעָה: אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד חַזָּנֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד פַּרְנָסֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל. הִתְחִילוּ (הָיוּ) שׁוֹתִין וּמִשְׁתַּכְּרִין, הֶחְזִירוּ הַדָּבָר לְיוֹשְׁנָהּ.

Later, the Sages added to those four additional blessings: One, noting the actions of the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir], who tend to burials and other communal needs; one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city, who would provide funding for the burial of the poor; one, noting the Temple, commemorating its destruction; and one, noting the actions of Rabban Gamliel. The people began observing this ordinance instituted by the Sages, and they would drink and become intoxicated. Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status and established that they drink no more than ten cups.

מַאי רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל? דְּתַנְיָא: בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה הָיְתָה הוֹצָאַת הַמֵּת קָשָׁה לִקְרוֹבָיו יוֹתֵר מִמִּיתָתוֹ, עַד שֶׁהָיוּ מַנִּיחִים אוֹתוֹ וּבוֹרְחִין. עַד שֶׁבָּא רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל וְנָהַג קַלּוּת בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְהוֹצִיאוּהוּ בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. וְנָהֲגוּ כׇּל הָעָם אַחֲרָיו לְהוֹצִיא בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. אֲמַר רַב פָּפָּא: וְהָאִידָּנָא נְהוּג עָלְמָא אֲפִילּוּ בְּצַרְדָּא בַּר זוּזָא.

What is the connection between Rabban Gamliel and a house of mourning? It is as it is taught in a baraita: Initially, the funeral expenditures for the deceased were more taxing for his relatives than his death, as the burials were opulent, until it reached a point where people would abandon the deceased and flee. This continued until Rabbi Gamliel came and conducted himself in a self-deprecatory manner, instructing the people that they were to take him for burial in plain linen garments. And all the people conducted themselves following his example, and instructed their families to take them for burial in plain linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And today, everyone is accustomed to bury the dead in plain garments, even in rough cloth [tzerada] worth one zuz.

אֲמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר:

Rabbi Elazar said:

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