Kiddushin 81

לאתרויי ביה

how to warn him not to engage in intercourse with her, since that would neutralize the effectiveness of the examination of the waters.

אמר רב יהודה אמר רב לא שנו אלא בעיר אבל בדרך עד שיהיו שלשה שמא יצטרך אחד מהם להשתין ונמצא אחד מתייחד עם הערוה נימא מסייע ליה מוסרים לו שני תלמידי חכמים שמא יבא עליה בדרך תרי ואיהו הא תלתא התם כי היכי דניהוו עליה סהדי

Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: The Sages taught that two men may seclude themselves with one woman only in a city, where others are present, but on the road it is not permitted unless there are three. Why are two men insufficient on the road? Perhaps one of them will need to urinate and will walk away, and it will turn out that one person will be secluded with a woman forbidden to him. The Gemara suggests: Shall we say the mishna quoted above supports him: They provide him with two Torah scholars to accompany them lest he engage in sexual intercourse with her along the way? He and two Torah scholars are three, which indicates that there is a requirement for three men when they are traveling. The Gemara answers: That is no proof, as there, in the case of the sota, there is a requirement for an additional two men in order that they should serve as witnesses about him, to testify whether or not he engaged in intercourse with her along the way.

רב ורב יהודה הוו קאזלי באורחא הוה קאזלא ההיא אתתא קמייהו אמר ליה רב לרב יהודה דל כרעיך מקמי גיהנם אמר ליה והא מר הוא דאמר בכשרים שפיר דמי אמר ליה מי יימר דבכשרים כגון אנא ואת אלא כגון מאי כגון רבי חנינא בר פפי וחביריו

The Gemara relates: Rav and Rav Yehuda were walking along the way, and a certain woman was walking ahead of them. Rav said to Rav Yehuda: Raise your feet and walk quickly away from Gehenna so that we do not remain secluded with her. Rav Yehuda said to him: But wasn’t it you, Master, who said that it is permitted in the case of men of fit morals? Rav said to him: Who says that I referred to men of fit morals such as you and me? Rav Yehuda responded: Rather, such as whom? Rav answered: Such as Rabbi Ḥanina bar Pappi and his colleagues, who have proven that they can withstand temptation (see 39b). All other people are not trusted in this matter.

אמר רב מלקין על ייחוד ואין אוסרין על הייחוד אמר רב אשי לא אמרן אלא בייחוד פנויה אבל בייחוד דאשת איש לא שלא תהא מוציא לעז על בניה

Rav says: The court flogs a man due to his being secluded with a woman. But a wife is not forbidden to her husband, and an unmarried woman is not prohibited from marrying a priest due to being secluded, as it cannot be stated definitively that the secluded pair engaged in sexual intercourse. Rav Ashi says: We stated the halakha that one is flogged due to being secluded only with an unmarried woman, but for being secluded with a married woman, one is not flogged. Why not? It is so that there should not be rumors spread concerning her children. If the secluded pair is flogged, everyone will assume that they engaged in intercourse, and people will consider her children to be mamzerim, whereas in fact they were flogged only for being secluded.

מר זוטרא מלקי ומכריז אמר ליה רב נחמן מפרהטיא לרב אשי מר נמי לילקי ולכריז אמר ליה איכא דשמע בהא ולא שמע בהא

The Gemara relates: Mar Zutra would even flog one who was secluded with a married woman, and he would proclaim the reason for the punishment. Rav Naḥman from Parhatya said to Rav Ashi: Let the Master also flog and proclaim the reason. Rav Ashi said to him: I am hesitant to do so, in case there are those who hear about this, i.e., the flogging, and do not hear about that, i.e., the reason for the flogging.

אמר רב מלקין על לא טובה השמועה שנאמר אל בני כי לוא טובה השמעה מר זוטרא מותיב לה אפסירה על כתפיה ומקרי ליה אל בני

Rav says: The court flogs one due to his being the subject of a bad rumor, meaning that not only is a person flogged when the facts have been ascertained, but even when he has only reportedly committed transgressions he may be flogged. As it is stated: “No, my sons, for it is no good report” (I Samuel 2:24). When Mar Zutra would flog a person for being the subject of a bad rumor, he would place the bridle of a donkey on the person’s shoulders and recite before him when administering lashes: “No, my sons, for it is no good report,” so that people would know why he was being flogged.

אמר רבה בעלה בעיר אין חוששין משום ייחוד אמר רב יוסף פתח פתוח לרשות הרבים אין חוששין משום ייחוד רב ביבי איקלע לבי רב יוסף בתר דכרך ריפתא אמר להו שקולי דרגא מתותי ביבי והא אמר רבה בעלה בעיר אין חוששין משום ייחוד שאני רב ביבי דשושבינתיה הואי וגייסא ביה

Rabba says: If a woman’s husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man. People are afraid to sin with her, since they cannot be sure when her husband will return. Rav Yosef says: If there is an open entrance to the public domain there is no concern due to being secluded. The Gemara relates: Rav Beivai arrived at Rav Yosef’s house. After he wrapped his bread, i.e., ate his meal, he said to the members of the household: Remove the ladder from beneath Beivai, who was going to sleep in the upper story, so that he not be able to climb down, due to the prohibition of being secluded with Rav Yosef’s wife. The Gemara asks: But doesn’t Rabba say: If her husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man? The Gemara answers: Rav Beivai is different, since Rav Yosef’s wife was his friend and she was familiar with him, and therefore there was more cause for concern.

אמר רב כהנא אנשים מבחוץ ונשים מבפנים אין חוששין משום ייחוד אנשים מבפנים ונשים מבחוץ חוששין משום ייחוד

Rav Kahana says: If the men are located on the outside, i.e., in the outer room, and the women in the inside, i.e., in the inner room, there is no concern due to being secluded. Even if one of the men were to enter the inner room, he would be seen by the other men. By contrast, if there were men in the inside and women on the outside, there is a concern due to being secluded, since one of the men can claim that he is leaving and in fact join the women.

במתניתא תנא איפכא אמר אביי השתא דאמר רב כהנא הכי ותנא מתניתא איפכא אנא נעביד לחומרא

The Gemara comments: The opposite was taught in a baraita, that if the men are on the outside and the women are inside there is concern due to being secluded, as one of the men might venture inside without being noticed, but if the men are inside and the women are outside, he knows that one of the other men might go out through the women’s quarters at any time, and therefore there is no concern due to being secluded. Abaye said: Now that Rav Kahana has said the halakha in this manner and a baraita teaches the opposite, we shall act stringently in both cases.

אביי דייר גולפי רבא דייר קנה אמר אבין סקבא דשתא ריגלא

Abaye would arrange rows of pitchers between the men and women, so that they would not be able to cross from one area to the other without making noise. Rava would arrange rows of reeds to prevent passage. Avin said: The wound [sakva], i.e., the vulnerable point, of the year is the Festival, since men and women would come together on these joyous occasions, and this would lead to sin.

הנך שבוייתא דאתאי לנהרדעא אסקינהו לבי רב עמרם חסידא אשקולו דרגא מקמייהו בהדי דקא חלפה חדא מנייהו נפל נהורא באיפומא שקליה רב עמרם לדרגא דלא הוו יכלין בי עשרה למדלייא דלייא לחודיה סליק ואזיל

§ The Gemara relates: Those captive women who were brought to Neharde’a, where they were redeemed, were brought up to the house of Rav Amram the Pious. They removed the ladder from before them to prevent men from climbing up after them to the attic where they were to sleep. When one of them passed by the entrance to the upper chamber, it was as though a light shone in the aperture due to her great beauty. Out of his desire for her, Rav Amram grabbed a ladder that ten men together could not lift, lifted it on his own and began climbing.

כי מטא לפלגא דרגא איפשח רמא קלא נורא בי עמרם אתו רבנן אמרו ליה כסיפתינן אמר להו מוטב תיכספו בי עמרם בעלמא הדין ולא תיכספו מיניה לעלמא דאתי אשבעיה דינפק מיניה נפק מיניה כי עמודא דנורא אמר ליה חזי דאת נורא ואנא בישרא ואנא עדיפנא מינך

When he was halfway up the ladder, he strengthened his legs against the sides of the ladder to stop himself from climbing further, raised his voice, and cried out: There is a fire in the house of Amram. Upon hearing this, the Sages came and found him in that position. They said to him: You have embarrassed us, since everyone sees what you had intended to do. Rav Amram said to them: It is better that you be shamed in Amram’s house in this world, and not be ashamed of him in the World-to-Come. He took an oath that his evil inclination should emerge from him, and an apparition similar to a pillar of fire emerged from him. He said to his evil inclination: See, as you are fire and I am mere flesh, and yet, I am still superior to you, as I was able to overcome you.

רבי מאיר הוה מתלוצץ בעוברי עבירה יומא חד אידמי ליה שטן כאיתתא בהך גיסא דנהרא לא הוה מברא נקט מצרא וקא עבר כי מטא פלגא מצרא שבקיה אמר אי לאו דקא מכרזי ברקיעא הזהרו ברבי מאיר ותורתו שויתיה לדמך תרתי מעי

The Gemara relates: Rabbi Meir would ridicule transgressors by saying it is easy to avoid temptation. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman standing on the other side of the river. Since there was no ferry to cross the river, he took hold of a rope bridge and crossed the river. When he reached halfway across the rope bridge, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Meir and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a, i.e., completely worthless, since you would have fallen completely from your spiritual level.

רבי עקיבא הוה מתלוצץ בעוברי עבירה יומא חד אידמי ליה שטן כאיתתא בריש דיקלא נקטיה לדיקלא וקסליק ואזיל כי מטא לפלגיה דדיקלא שבקיה אמר אי לאו דמכרזי ברקיעא הזהרו ברבי עקיבא ותורתו שויתיה לדמך תרתי מעי

Rabbi Akiva would likewise ridicule transgressors. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree. Rabbi Akiva grabbed hold of the palm tree and began climbing. When he was halfway up the palm tree, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Akiva and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a.

פלימו הוה רגיל למימר כל יומא גירא בעיניה דשטן יומא חד מעלי יומא דכיפורי הוה אידמי ליה כעניא אתא קרא אבבא אפיקו ליה ריפתא אמר ליה יומא כי האידנא כולי עלמא גואי ואנא אבראי עייליה וקריבו ליה ריפתא אמר ליה יומא כי האידנא כולי עלמא אתכא ואנא לחודאי אתיוהו אותבוהו אתכא הוה יתיב מלא נפשיה שיחנא וכיבי עליה והוה קעביד ביה מילי דמאיס אמר ליה

The Sage Peleimu had the habit to say every day: An arrow in the eye of Satan, mocking the temptations of the evil inclination. One day, it was the eve of Yom Kippur, and Satan appeared to him as a pauper who came and called him to the door, requesting alms. Peleimu brought out bread to him. Satan said to him: On a day like today, everyone is inside eating, and shall I stand outside and eat? Peleimu brought him inside and gave him bread. He said to him: On a day like today, everyone is sitting at the table, and shall I sit by myself? They brought him and sat him at the table. He was sitting and had covered himself with boils and pus, and he was doing repulsive things at the table. Peleimu said to the pauper:

תיב שפיר אמר ליה הבו לי כסא יהבו ליה כסא אכמר שדא ביה כיחו נחרו ביה שקא ומית שמעו דהוו קאמרי פלימו קטל גברא פלימו קטל גברא ערק וטשא נפשיה בבית הכסא אזיל בתריה נפל קמיה כי דחזייה דהוה מצטער גלי ליה נפשיה אמר ליה מאי טעמא אמרת הכי ואלא היכי אימא אמר ליה לימא מר רחמנא נגער ביה בשטן

Sit properly and do not act in a revolting manner. Satan then said to him: Give me a cup. They gave him a cup. He coughed up his phlegm and spat it into the cup. They berated him for acting this way, at which point Satan pretended to sink down and die. They heard people around them saying: Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu killed a man! Peleimu fled and hid himself in the bathroom. Satan followed him and fell before him. Upon seeing that Peleimu was suffering, he revealed himself to him. Satan said to him: What is the reason that you spoke this way, provoking me by saying: An arrow in the eye of Satan? He replied: But what then should I say? Satan said to him: Let the Master, i.e., Peleimu, say: Let the Merciful One rebuke the Satan.

רבי חייא בר אשי הוה רגיל כל עידן דהוה נפל לאפיה הוה אמר הרחמן יצילנו מיצר הרע יומא חד שמעתינהו דביתהו אמרה מכדי הא כמה שני דפריש ליה מינאי מאי טעמא קאמר הכי

The Gemara relates: Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Ashi was accustomed to say, whenever he would fall on his face in prayer: May the Merciful One save us from the evil inclination. One day his wife heard him saying this prayer. She said: After all, it has been several years since he has withdrawn from engaging in intercourse with me due to his advanced years. What is the reason that he says this prayer, as there is no concern that he will engage in sinful sexual behavior?

יומא חדא הוה קא גריס בגינתיה קשטה נפשה חלפה ותנייה קמיה אמר לה מאן את אמרה אנא חרותא דהדרי מיומא תבעה אמרה ליה אייתי ניהליה להך רומנא דריש צוציתא שוור אזל אתייה ניהלה

One day, while he was studying in his garden, she adorned herself and repeatedly walked past him. He said: Who are you? She said: I am Ḥaruta, a well-known prostitute, returning from my day at work. He propositioned her. She said to him: Give me that pomegranate from the top of the tree as payment. He leapt up, went, and brought it to her, and they engaged in intercourse.

כי אתא לביתיה הוה קא שגרא דביתהו תנורא סליק וקא יתיב בגויה אמרה ליה מאי האי אמר לה הכי והכי הוה מעשה אמרה ליה אנא הואי לא אשגח בה עד דיהבה ליה סימני אמר לה אנא מיהא לאיסורא איכווני כל ימיו של אותו צדיק היה מתענה עד שמת באותה מיתה

When he came home, his wife was lighting a fire in the oven. He went and sat inside it. She said to him: What is this? He said to her: Such and such an incident occurred; he told her that he engaged in intercourse with a prostitute. She said to him: It was I. He paid no attention to her, thinking she was merely trying to comfort him, until she gave him signs that it was indeed she. He said to her: I, in any event, intended to transgress. The Gemara relates: All the days of that righteous man he would fast for the transgression he intended to commit, until he died by that death in his misery.

דתניא אישה הפרם וה׳ יסלח לה במה הכתוב מדבר באשה שנדרה בנזיר ושמע בעלה והפר לה והיא לא ידעה שהפר לה בעלה והיתה שותה יין ומטמאה למתים

The Gemara explains the source that one who intended to transgress is punished even though he did not actually sin. As it is taught in a baraita concerning a husband who nullified the vow of his wife: “Her husband has made them null; and the Lord will forgive her” (Numbers 30:13). With regard to what case is the verse speaking? Why would the woman require forgiveness if her husband has nullified her vow? It is referring to a woman who vowed to be a nazirite, and her husband heard and nullified her vow. And she did not know that her husband had nullified her vow, and she drank wine and contracted impurity from a corpse, violating her presumed vow.

רבי עקיבא כי הוה מטי להאי פסוקא הוה בכי אמר ומה מי שנתכוין לאכול בשר חזיר ועלה בידו בשר טלה אמרה תורה צריכה כפרה וסליחה מי שנתכוין לאכול בשר חזיר ועלה בידו בשר חזיר על אחת כמה וכמה

The Gemara relates: When Rabbi Akiva came to this verse he would cry. He said: And if with regard to one who intended to eat pork, and kosher lamb came up in his hand, like this woman who intended to violate her vow but in fact did not, the Torah nevertheless says: She requires atonement and forgiveness, all the more so does one who intended to eat pork and pork came up in his hand require atonement and forgiveness.

כיוצא בדבר אתה אומר ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו כשהיה רבי עקיבא מגיע לפסוק זה היה בוכה ומה מי שנתכוין לאכול שומן ועלה בידו חלב אמרה תורה ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו מי שנתכוין לאכול חלב ועלה בידו חלב על אחת כמה וכמה איסי בן יהודה אומר ולא ידע ואשם ונשא עונו על דבר זה ידוו כל הדווים

In a similar manner, you can say that the same lesson can be derived from the verse: “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity” (Leviticus 5:17). When Rabbi Akiva came to this verse he would cry. He said: And if with regard to one who intended to eat permitted fat, and forbidden fat mistakenly came up in his hand, the Torah states: “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity,” all the more so is this true for one who intended to eat forbidden fat and forbidden fat came up in his hand. Isi ben Yehuda says with regard to the verse “Though he know it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity”: With regard to this matter all sufferers shall grieve, since the verse teaches that one is punished even for sinning unawares.

מתייחד אדם עם אמו אמר רב יהודה אמר רב אסי מתייחד אדם עם אחותו ודר עם אמו ועם בתו כי אמרה קמיה דשמואל אמר אסור להתייחד עם כל עריות שבתורה ואפילו עם בהמה

§ The mishna teaches that a man may be secluded with his mother. Rav Yehuda says that Rav Asi says: A man may be secluded with his sister, and live with his mother or with his daughter in a permanent arrangement, without concern. When he said this before Shmuel, the latter said: It is prohibited to be secluded with all those with whom relations are forbidden by the Torah, and even with an animal, as it is prohibited to engage in intercourse with an animal as well.

תנן מתייחד אדם עם אמו ועם בתו וישן עמהם בקירוב בשר ותיובתא דשמואל אמר לך שמואל וליטעמיך הא דתניא אחותו וחמותו ושאר כל עריות שבתורה אין מתייחד עמהם אלא בעדים בעדים אין שלא בעדים לא

We learned in the mishna: A man may be secluded with his mother, and with his daughter, and sleep alongside them with bodily contact, and this appears to be a conclusive refutation of the statement of Shmuel. The Gemara answers: Shmuel could have said to you: And according to your reasoning, how should one explain that which is taught in a baraita: With regard to his sister, and his mother-in-law, and all those with whom relations are forbidden, including his mother and daughter, one may be secluded with them only in the presence of witnesses, from which it can be inferred: In the presence of witnesses, yes; without the presence of witnesses, no. This baraita supports the opinion of Shmuel that one may not be secluded with his mother or sister.

אלא תנאי היא דתניא אמר רבי מאיר הזהרו בי מפני בתי אמר רבי טרפון הזהרו בי מפני כלתי ליגלג עליו אותו תלמיד אמר רבי אבהו משום רבי חנינא בן גמליאל לא היו ימים מועטים עד שנכשל אותו תלמיד בחמותו

Rather, it is a dispute between tanna’im as to whether one may be secluded with his mother or sister. As it is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Meir said: Be careful with me because of my daughter, i.e., make sure I am not left secluded with her. Similarly, Rabbi Tarfon said: Be careful with me because of my daughter-in-law. A certain student mocked him for being wary of the possibility of sinning with his daughter-in-law. Rabbi Abbahu said in the name of Rabbi Ḥanina ben Gamliel: Not many days passed until that student stumbled into sin with his mother-in-law.

אפילו עם בהמה אביי מכלליה מכולה דברא רב ששת מעבר ליה מצרא רב חנן מנהרדעא איקלע לרב כהנא לפום נהרא חזייה דיתיב וקא גרס וקיימא בהמה קמיה אמר ליה לא סבר לה מר אפילו עם בהמה אמר ליה לאו אדעתאי

The Gemara stated that according to Shmuel it is prohibited for one to be alone even with an animal. The Gemara relates: Abaye removed the animals from the entire field he was in. Rav Sheshet transferred the animals to the other side of the fence. Rav Ḥanan from Neharde’a happened to come to Rav Kahana in Pum Nahara. He saw that he was sitting and studying, and an animal was standing before him. Rav Ḥanan said to him: Doesn’t the Master hold that one may not be secluded even with an animal? Rav Kahana said to him: It did not enter my mind that an animal was before me.

אמר רבא מתייחד אדם עם שתי יבמות ועם שתי צרות עם אשה וחמותה עם אשה ובת בעלה עם אשה ותינוקת שיודעת טעם ביאה ואין מוסרת עצמה לביאה

Rava says: A man may be secluded with two sisters-in-law and with two rival wives, i.e., two women who share a husband; with a woman and her mother-in-law; and with a woman and her husband’s daughter. Since these women typically dislike each other, each fears that the other will publicize her sins, and they will be careful not to transgress. Similarly, a man may be secluded with a woman and a girl who knows the meaning of sexual intercourse, i.e., one who is old enough to understand the nature of intercourse, but is still young enough that she does not submit herself to intercourse, since she does not yet desire it. In such a situation, the woman is concerned that the child will reveal her behavior.

הגדילו זה ישן בכסותו וכו׳ וכמה אמר רב אדא בר רב עזא אמר רב אסי תינוקת בת תשע שנים ויום אחד תינוק בן שתים עשרה שנה ויום אחד איכא דאמרי תינוקת בת שתים עשרה שנה ויום אחד תינוק בן שלש עשרה ויום אחד וזה וזה כדי שיהיו שדים נכנו ושערך צמח

§ The mishna teaches that when one’s children have grown up, this one sleeps in his garment and that one sleeps in her garment, but they may share a bed. The Gemara asks: And how old must a child be to be considered grown up for the purposes of this halakha? Rav Adda bar Rav Azza says that Rav Asi says: A girl must reach the age of nine years and one day; a boy must reach the age of twelve years and one day. There are those who say: A girl must reach the age of twelve years and one day; a boy must reach the age of thirteen years and one day. And according to this and that, according to both opinions, the girl is considered a child until she has reached the stage of: “Your breasts were fashioned, and your hair was grown” (Ezekiel 16:7), meaning the onset of puberty.

אמר רפרם בר פפא אמר רב חסדא לא שנו אלא שאינה בושה לעמוד לפניו ערום אבל בושה לעמוד לפניו ערום אסור מאי טעמא יצר אלבשה

Rafram bar Pappa says that Rav Ḥisda says: They taught that a man may sleep in close proximity to his minor daughter only if she is not ashamed to stand naked before him, but if she is ashamed to stand naked before him, it is prohibited for him to sleep close to her, regardless of her age. What is the reason? It is that the inclination has a hold upon her, as otherwise she would not be ashamed.

רב אחא בר אבא איקלע לבי רב חסדא חתניה שקליה לבת ברתיה אותבוה בכנפיה אמר ליה לא סבר לה מר דמקדשא אמר ליה עברת לך אדרב דאמר רב יהודה אמר רב ואיתימא רבי אלעזר אסור לאדם שיקדש את בתו כשהיא קטנה עד שתגדיל ותאמר בפלוני אני רוצה מר נמי עבר ליה אדשמואל דאמר שמואל אין משתמשים באשה אמר ליה אנא כאידך דשמואל סבירא לי דאמר שמואל

The Gemara relates: Rav Aḥa bar Abba arrived at the house of Rav Ḥisda, his son-in-law. He took his daughter’s daughter and placed her on his lap. Rav Ḥisda said to him: Doesn’t the Master think that she might already be betrothed? Rav Aḥa said to him: If that is true, you have transgressed the ruling of Rav, as Rav Yehuda says that Rav says, and some say it was said by Rabbi Elazar: It is prohibited for a man to betroth his daughter when she is a minor, until she grows up and says: I want to marry so-and-so, as otherwise she might reject the designated husband and ultimately sin by committing adultery. Rav Ḥisda replied: The Master has likewise transgressed the words of Shmuel. As Shmuel says: One may not make use of a woman, so how can you hold her on your lap? He said to him: I hold in accordance with another statement of Shmuel, as Shmuel says: