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Ketubot 8

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Today’s daf is sponsored in loving memory of Rosalind Pineles, who passed away this week. “Rosalind loved family, Torah and Israel, was a champion of Chesed and the driving force behind women’s Torah study in her community. Dearly missed and remembered.”

Today’s daf is sponsored by Rina Baumel with gratitude to Rabbanit Michelle, Maggie, Mimi and the wonderful women of the Hadran community – my worldwide virtual chevruta.

What is the actual nusach of the blessings of the wedding (sheva brachot)? How many blessings are there? There is a debate about whether two of them are to be combined or said separately – the ones relating to the creation of humans. Are there separate as man and woman were created separately or are they together as they were created as two partzufim – at once. How many days are these blessings and the special zimun recited? Under what circumstances? The blessings for the mourner and for the wedding require a quorum of ten. Does the mourner/groom count as part of the ten? What is the language of the blessings for the mourner? To whom are each of the blessings addressed? A story is told of Reish Lakish where we learn the origins of these blessings. The rabbis instituted ten cups of wine for mourners and then added another four. But since it got people drunk, they reverted back to how it was previously. What did Rabban Gamliel do regarding burial shrouds that on account of him, they added an extra cup of wine (before they reverted back to the original)?

 

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Ketubot 8

שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ״.

Who has created all for His glory.

וְ״יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the second blessing is: Blessed are You…Creator of mankind.

וַ״אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the third blessing is: Blessed are You…Who made humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and out of His very self formed a building (see Genesis 2:22) for eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Creator of mankind.

״שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה, בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶיהָ״.

The fourth blessing is: May the barren city of Jerusalem greatly rejoice and delight with the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are You, Lord, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

״שַׂמֵּחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵיעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה״.

The fifth blessing is: Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in Eden in ancient times. Blessed are You, Lord, Who brings joy to the groom and bride.

״בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה, רִינָּה, דִּיצָה, חֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵיעוּת. מְהֵרָה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחוּפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה״.

The sixth blessing is: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has created joy and gladness, groom and bride, delight, exultation, happiness, jubilation, love and brotherhood, and peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may there be heard in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride, the joyous sound of grooms from their wedding canopy and of young people from their feast of song (see Jeremiah 33:11). Blessed are You, Lord, Who makes the groom rejoice with the bride. Together with the blessing over the wine, these are the seven wedding blessings.

לֵוִי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַבִּי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ חֲמֵשׁ. רַב אַסִּי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב אָשֵׁי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּמָר בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית.

The Gemara relates: Levi happened to come to the house of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi during the wedding celebration of Rabbi Shimon, his son, and recited five of these blessings. Rav Asi happened to come to the house of Rav Ashi during the wedding celebration of Mar, his son, and recited six of these blessings.

לֵימָא בְּהָא קָמִיפַּלְגִי: דְּמָר סָבַר חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי, וּמָר סָבַר שְׁתֵּי יְצִירוֹת הֲוַאי.

The Gemara suggests: Let us say that they disagree about this: One Sage holds: It was one act of creation with which man was created. And one Sage holds: It was two acts of creation with which man was created. The first opinion, that there was one act of creation, is based on the concept that man was created with two sides, one male and one female. There was no additional act of creation. Man and woman were subsequently separated into two independent beings. Therefore, there is no need for the two blessings: Who created mankind, and: Who created mankind in His image. The second opinion is that there were in fact two separate acts of creation. Therefore, it is appropriate to recite two blessings with regard to the creation of mankind.

לָא, דְּכוּלֵּי עָלְמָא חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי. מָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַחְשָׁבָה אָזְלִינַן, וּמָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַעֲשֶׂה אָזְלִינַן. כִּי הָא דְּרַב יְהוּדָה רָמֵי, כְּתִיב: ״וַיִּבְרָא אֱלֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ״, וּכְתִיב: ״זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בְּרָאָם״, הָא כֵּיצַד? בַּתְּחִלָּה עָלָה בְּמַחְשָׁבָה לִבְראוֹת שְׁנַיִם, וּלְבַסּוֹף נִבְרָא אֶחָד.

The Gemara rejects that suggestion: No, everyone agrees that it was only one act of creation. However, one Sage holds: It is according to the initial thought that we proceed. And one Sage holds: It is according to the action that we proceed. God’s initial thought was to create man and woman as separate entities. Ultimately, they were created as one entity. That explanation is like the following. Rav Yehuda raises a contradiction. In one verse it is written: “And God created man in His own image” (Genesis 1:27), indicating one act of creation, and in another verse it is written: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2), indicating two acts. How can this apparent contradiction be resolved? Initially, the thought entered God’s mind to create two, but ultimately only one was actually created.

רַב אָשֵׁי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב כָּהֲנָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ אִי אִיכָּא פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, וְאִי לָא — אַפּוֹשֵׁי שִׂמְחָה בְּעָלְמָא הוּא, מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״ וַ״אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא״.

The Gemara relates: Rav Ashi happened to come to the house of Rav Kahana to attend a wedding. The first day he recited all seven blessings. From that point forward, if there were new faces present, he recited all the blessings, and if not, he would say: It is merely an extension of the original celebration, and he would recite the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, in the zimmun prior to Grace after Meals, and the sixth blessing after Grace after Meals: Who has created.

מִשִּׁבְעָה וְעַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, בֵּין אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, וּבֵין לָא אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״, וְאִי לָא — לָא.

§ Apropos the wedding blessings, the Gemara continues: From seven days after the wedding until the thirtieth day, whether the groom said to the guests that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration or whether he did not say to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. From this point, thirty days after the wedding, forward, if he said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration [hillula], he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, and if not, he doesn’t.

וְכִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, עַד אֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פַּפִּי מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרָבָא: עַד תְּרֵיסַר יַרְחֵי שַׁתָּא. וּמֵעִיקָּרָא מֵאֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: מִכִּי רְמוּ שְׂעָרֵי בַּאֲסִינְתָּא. אִינִי? וְהָא רַב פָּפָּא אִיעֲסַק לְאַבָּא מָר בְּרֵיהּ, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין! שָׁאנֵי רַב פָּפָּא, דַּהֲוָה טְרִיחַ לֵיהּ.

The Gemara asks: And when the groom said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, until when is this blessing recited? Rav Pappi said in the name of Rava: Until twelve months of the year have passed since the wedding. Since his legal status remains that of a groom, the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, may be recited. The Gemara asks: And initially, prior to the wedding, from when is that blessing recited? Rav Pappa said: From when they cast barley into the mortar to prepare beer for the wedding. The Gemara asks: Is that so? But didn’t Rav Pappa involve himself in preparations for the wedding of his son, Abba Mar, and begin reciting the blessing from the time of betrothal? Rav Pappa is different, because the wedding preparations had already been prepared for him, and it was merely a matter of waiting for the designated time to arrive. Therefore, the wedding celebration began for him from the time of betrothal.

רָבִינָא אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַב חֲבִיבָא, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין. אָמַר: קִים לִי בְּגַוַּיְיהוּ דְּלָא הָדְרִי בְּהוּ. לָא אִסְתַּיַּיע מִילְּתָא וְהָדְרִי בְּהוּ. רַב תַּחְלִיפָא בַּר מַעְרְבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבָבֶל, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית אֲרִיכָתָא. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ.

The Gemara relates: Ravina arranged for his son to marry a woman from the house of Rav Ḥaviva and recited the blessing from the time of betrothal. He said: I am certain with regard to them, that they will not retract their commitment and terminate the betrothal, and the wedding will take place on time. Nevertheless, the matter was not to be, and ultimately they retracted their commitment, and the wedding was canceled. The Gemara relates: Rav Taḥlifa, from the West, i.e., Eretz Yisrael, happened to come to Babylonia, and he elaborated on the themes of the wedding blessings and recited six long blessings. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Rather, one must adhere to the formula coined by the Sages.

רַב חֲבִיבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי מָהוֹלָא, בָּרֵיךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ — מִשּׁוּם דִּטְרִידִי דְּאִית לֵיהּ צַעֲרָא לְיָנוֹקָא.

It is further related: Rav Ḥaviva happened to come to the house where a circumcision was taking place. He recited the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Since the parents of the baby are anxious, as the baby is experiencing pain, it is not appropriate to recite the blessing under those circumstances.

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן אָמַר רַב: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן! מַתְנִיתָא קָא רָמֵית עֲלֵיהּ דְּרַב? רַב תַּנָּא הוּא, וּפְלִיג. אִיתְּמַר, אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן!

§ Rav Naḥman said that Rav said: With regard to the quorum of ten required to recite the wedding blessings, grooms are included in the tally. And mourners are not included in the tally for the blessing of the mourners. The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally. The Gemara responds: Are you raising a contradiction from a baraita against the opinion of Rav? Rav himself had tanna status and therefore, unlike later amora’im, could disagree with opinions of tanna’im. It was stated: Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Grooms are included in the tally, but mourners are not included in the tally. The Gemara raises an objection from the baraita cited above: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally.

כִּי תַּנְיָא הָהִיא — בְּבִרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן, כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן — בְּשׁוּרָה.

The Gemara answers: When that baraita is taught, it is with regard to combining with others to form a quorum of three to recite Grace after Meals, as a mourner is obligated to recite Grace after Meals. However, when Rabbi Yoḥanan says that mourners are not included in the tally, it is with regard to the quorum of ten men required to form a line to comfort the mourners following the burial.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִים בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בְּרָכָה בְּשׁוּרָה מִי אִיכָּא? אֶלָּא כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בִּרְחָבָה.

And the Gemara raises an objection: However, that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten, and the grooms are included in the tally, and one recites the blessing of the mourners in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally. Is there a blessing recited in the line formed to comfort the mourners? Clearly, this statement of Rabbi Yoḥanan cannot be explained as referring to the line. Rather, when Rabbi Yoḥanan said that mourners are not included in the tally, it was with regard to the blessing recited in the square adjacent to the cemetery, where the meal of comfort takes place and various blessings are recited to comfort the mourners. Mourners are not included in the requisite quorum of ten.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִין בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בִּרְכַּת רְחָבָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה מִי אִיכָּא? מַשְׁכַּחַתְּ לַהּ בְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת.

The Gemara asks: However, with regard to that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten all seven days of celebration, and the grooms are included in the tally; and one recites the blessing of the mourners all seven days of mourning in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally, is there a blessing recited in the square all seven days? The meal of comfort and the associated blessings take place directly after the burial, not throughout the seven days of mourning. The Gemara answers: You find blessings recited throughout the seven-day mourning period in a case where new faces who did not attend the burial are present. In that case, eulogies and words of comfort are repeated, and the blessing of the mourners is recited again.

כִּי הָא דְּרַב חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא מַקְרֵי בְּנֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ מַתְנִי בְּרֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה. שְׁכֵיב לֵיהּ יָנוֹקָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא לָא אֲזַל לְגַבֵּיהּ. לִמְחַר דַּבְרֵיהּ לִיהוּדָה בַּר נַחְמָנִי מְתוּרְגְּמָנֵיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כׇּל קֳבֵיל יָנוֹקָא. פְּתַח וַאֲמַר: ״וַיַּרְא ה׳ וַיִּנְאָץ מִכַּעַס בָּנָיו וּבְנוֹתָיו״, דּוֹר שֶׁאָבוֹת מְנָאֲצִים לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא — כּוֹעֵס עַל בְּנֵיהֶם וְעַל בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם, וּמֵתִים כְּשֶׁהֵם קְטַנִּים.

§ This is similar to that incident involving Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba, who was the Bible teacher of the sons of Reish Lakish, and some say that he was the Mishna teacher of the son of Reish Lakish. His child died. On the first day, Reish Lakish did not go to comfort him. The next day, he took Yehuda bar Naḥmani, his disseminator, with him to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba. Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a matter of comfort with regard to the death of the child. He began and said: “And the Lord saw it and He abhorred them, due to the provocation of His sons and His daughters” (Deuteronomy 32:19). A generation in which the fathers abhor the Holy One, Blessed be He, He is angered at their sons and their daughters, and they die when they are small.

וְאִיכָּא דְּאָמְרִי בָּחוּר הֲוָה. וְהָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: ״עַל כֵּן עַל בַּחוּרָיו לֹא יִשְׂמַח ה׳ וְאֶת יְתוֹמָיו וְאֶת אַלְמְנוֹתָיו לֹא יְרַחֵם כִּי כֻלּוֹ חָנֵף וּמֵרַע וְכׇל פֶּה דֹּבֵר נְבָלָה בְּכׇל זֹאת לֹא שָׁב אַפּוֹ וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״. מַאי ״וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״? אָמַר רַב חָנָן בַּר רַב: הַכֹּל יוֹדְעִין כַּלָּה לָמָּה נִכְנְסָה לַחוּפָּה. אֶלָּא, כׇּל הַמְנַבֵּל פִּיו, וּמוֹצִיא דְּבַר נְבָלָה מִפִּיו, אֲפִלּוּ נֶחְתַּם לוֹ גְּזַר דִּינוֹ שֶׁל שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה לְטוֹבָה — נֶהְפָּךְ עָלָיו לְרָעָה.

And there are those who say that the child who died was not a small child, but a youth, and this is what the disseminator said to him: “Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, nor shall He have compassion on their orphans and widows, for everyone is a flatterer and an evildoer, and every mouth speaks obscenity. For all this His anger is not turned away, and His hand is still outstretched” (Isaiah 9:16). What is the meaning of the phrase “And His hand is still outstretched”? Rav Ḥanan bar Rav said: Everyone knows why a bride enters the wedding canopy. It is the step before consummation of the marriage. However, one should not speak about it unnecessarily, as anyone who profanes his mouth and issues a matter of profanity from his mouth, even if a positive decree of seventy years was sealed for him, nevertheless, it is transformed for him into an evil decree.

אֲתָא לְנַחוֹמֵי — צַעוֹרֵי קָמְצַעַר לֵיהּ! הָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: חֲשִׁיב אַתְּ לְאִתְּפוֹסֵי אַדָּרָא.

The Gemara asks about this incident: He came at the behest of Reish Lakish to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and instead he upset him by attributing the death of his son to his transgressions! The Gemara answers: It was not his intention to upset Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and to attribute the death of his son to his actions. Rather, this is what he is saying to him: You are sufficiently significant to be seized, i.e., to die or suffer, for the sins of the generation, as it is specifically the righteous few who are punished for the transgressions of a sinful generation.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד שְׁבָחוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״הָאֵל הַגָּדוֹל בְּרוֹב גׇּדְלוֹ, אַדִּיר וְחָזָק בְּרוֹב נוֹרָאוֹת, מְחַיֵּה מֵתִים בְּמַאֲמָרוֹ, עוֹשֶׂה גְדוֹלוֹת עַד אֵין חֵקֶר וְנִפְלָאוֹת עַד אֵין מִסְפָּר. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים״.

Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the praiseworthiness of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He began and said: God, Who is great in the abundance of His greatness, mighty and strong in the abundance of His awesome deeds, Who revives the dead in fulfillment of His statement, Who does great deeds beyond comprehension, wondrous deeds without number. Blessed are You, Lord, Who revives the dead.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד אֲבֵלִים, פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ הַמְיוּגָּעִים, הַמְדוּכָּאִין בָּאֵבֶל הַזֶּה, תְּנוּ לְבַבְכֶם לַחְקוֹר אֶת זֹאת. זֹאת הִיא עוֹמֶדֶת לָעַד, נָתִיב הוּא מִשֵּׁשֶׁת יְמֵי בְרֵאשִׁית. רַבִּים שָׁתוּ, רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ. כְּמִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים כָּךְ מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים. אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל נֶחָמוֹת יְנַחֵם אֶתְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים״.

Reish Lakish said to him: Stand and say a statement with regard to the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed by this mourning, set your heart to examine this: This is what stands forever. It is a path from the six days of Creation, i.e., death exists since Creation, and it is well known that this is the fate of man. Many have drunk from the poisonous cup of death, and many will drink. As was the consequence of the drink of the first who have drunk, so too will be the consequence of the drink of the last who will drink. Our brothers, may the Master of solace comfort you. Blessed are You, Lord, Who comforts the mourners.

אָמַר אַבָּיֵי: ״רַבִּים שָׁתוּ״ — לֵימָא. ״רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ״ — לָא לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים״ — לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים״ — לָא לֵימָא. דְּאָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, וְכֵן תָּנָא מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יִפְתַּח אָדָם פִּיו לַשָּׂטָן. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף, מַאי קְרָא: ״כִּסְדוֹם הָיִינוּ לַעֲמוֹרָה דָּמִינוּ״. מַאי אַהְדַּר לֵיהּ — ״שִׁמְעוּ דְבַר ה׳ קְצִינֵי סְדוֹם וְגוֹ׳״.

Abaye said with regard to the statement concerning the mourners: Let him say: Many have drunk; let him not say: Many will drink. Let him say: The drink of the first; let him not say: The drink of the last. This is as Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said, and likewise it was taught in the name of Rabbi Yosei: A person should never open his mouth to Satan and speculate about potential disasters. Rav Yosef said: What is the verse from which it is derived? “We should have almost been as Sodom, we should have been like unto Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:9), after which, what did the prophet reply to them? “Hear the word of the Lord, rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, people of Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:10). Isaiah drew the analogy and immediately it was realized.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד מְנַחֲמֵי אֲבֵלִים. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים בְּנֵי גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים, הַמַּחְזִיקִים בִּבְרִיתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ (שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ׳כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו וְגוֹ׳׳). אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל הַגְּמוּל יְשַׁלֵּם לָכֶם גְּמוּלְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, מְשַׁלֵּם הַגְּמוּל״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to those who comfort the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, bestowers of loving-kindness, sons of bestowers of loving-kindness, who embrace the covenant of Abraham our Patriarch, as it is stated: “For I know him, that he will command his children…to do righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). Our brothers, may the Master of reward pay you your just deserts. Blessed are You, Lord, Who pays the just deserts.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד כׇּל יִשְׂרָאֵל. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים, פְּדֵה וְהַצֵּל, מַלֵּט, הוֹשַׁע עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַדֶּבֶר וּמִן הַחֶרֶב וּמִן הַבִּיזָּה וּמִן הַשִּׁדָּפוֹן וּמִן הַיֵּרָקוֹן וּמִכׇּל מִינֵי פּוּרְעָנִיּוֹת הַמִּתְרַגְּשׁוֹת וּבָאוֹת לָעוֹלָם, טֶרֶם נִקְרָא וְאַתָּה תַּעֲנֶה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, עוֹצֵר הַמַּגֵּפָה״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the entire Jewish people. He began and said: Master of the worlds, redeem and save, rescue and deliver Your people, Israel, from the pestilence and from the sword, and from spoil, and from the blight, and from the mildew, and from all types of afflictions that suddenly erupt and come to the world. Before we call and You will respond. Blessed are You, Lord, Who halts the plague. Apparently, several blessings are recited on the days following the burial.

אֲמַר עוּלָּא, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ בְּמַתְנִיתָא תָּנָא: עֲשָׂרָה כּוֹסוֹת תִּקְּנוּ חֲכָמִים בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל: שְׁלֹשָׁה קוֹדֶם אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִפְתּוֹחַ אֶת בְּנֵי מֵעָיו. שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּתוֹךְ אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִשְׁרוֹת אֲכִילָה שֶׁבְּמֵעָיו. וְאַרְבָּעָה לְאַחַר אֲכִילָה, אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַזָּן״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בִּרְכַּת הָאָרֶץ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״בּוֹנֵה יְרוּשָׁלָיִם״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַטּוֹב וְהַמֵּטִיב״.

§ In connection with comforting mourners, Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: The Sages instituted ten cups of wine to be drunk in the house of the mourner: Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines, i.e., whet his appetite; three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines in order to facilitate digestion; and four cups after the meal, each corresponding to a blessing in the Grace after Meals. One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all; one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land; one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem; and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.

הוֹסִיפוּ עֲלֵיהֶם אַרְבָּעָה: אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד חַזָּנֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד פַּרְנָסֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל. הִתְחִילוּ (הָיוּ) שׁוֹתִין וּמִשְׁתַּכְּרִין, הֶחְזִירוּ הַדָּבָר לְיוֹשְׁנָהּ.

Later, the Sages added to those four additional blessings: One, noting the actions of the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir], who tend to burials and other communal needs; one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city, who would provide funding for the burial of the poor; one, noting the Temple, commemorating its destruction; and one, noting the actions of Rabban Gamliel. The people began observing this ordinance instituted by the Sages, and they would drink and become intoxicated. Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status and established that they drink no more than ten cups.

מַאי רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל? דְּתַנְיָא: בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה הָיְתָה הוֹצָאַת הַמֵּת קָשָׁה לִקְרוֹבָיו יוֹתֵר מִמִּיתָתוֹ, עַד שֶׁהָיוּ מַנִּיחִים אוֹתוֹ וּבוֹרְחִין. עַד שֶׁבָּא רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל וְנָהַג קַלּוּת בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְהוֹצִיאוּהוּ בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. וְנָהֲגוּ כׇּל הָעָם אַחֲרָיו לְהוֹצִיא בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. אֲמַר רַב פָּפָּא: וְהָאִידָּנָא נְהוּג עָלְמָא אֲפִילּוּ בְּצַרְדָּא בַּר זוּזָא.

What is the connection between Rabban Gamliel and a house of mourning? It is as it is taught in a baraita: Initially, the funeral expenditures for the deceased were more taxing for his relatives than his death, as the burials were opulent, until it reached a point where people would abandon the deceased and flee. This continued until Rabbi Gamliel came and conducted himself in a self-deprecatory manner, instructing the people that they were to take him for burial in plain linen garments. And all the people conducted themselves following his example, and instructed their families to take them for burial in plain linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And today, everyone is accustomed to bury the dead in plain garments, even in rough cloth [tzerada] worth one zuz.

אֲמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר:

Rabbi Elazar said:

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Rookie Billet

Jerusalem, Israel

I started my journey on the day I realized that the Siyum was happening in Yerushalayim and I was missing out. What? I told myself. How could I have not known about this? How can I have missed out on this opportunity? I decided that moment, I would start Daf Yomi and Nach Yomi the very next day. I am so grateful to Hadran. I am changed forever because I learn Gemara with women. Thank you.

Linda Brownstein
Linda Brownstein

Mitspe, Israel

A Gemara shiur previous to the Hadran Siyum, was the impetus to attend it.It was highly inspirational and I was smitten. The message for me was התלמוד בידינו. I had decided along with my Chahsmonaim group to to do the daf and take it one daf at time- without any expectations at all. There has been a wealth of information, insights and halachik ideas. It is truly exercise of the mind, heart & Soul

Phyllis Hecht.jpeg
Phyllis Hecht

Hashmonaim, Israel

My family recently made Aliyah, because we believe the next chapter in the story of the Jewish people is being written here, and we want to be a part of it. Daf Yomi, on the other hand, connects me BACK, to those who wrote earlier chapters thousands of years ago. So, I feel like I’m living in the middle of this epic story. I’m learning how it all began, and looking ahead to see where it goes!
Tina Lamm
Tina Lamm

Jerusalem, Israel

A beautiful world of Talmudic sages now fill my daily life with discussion and debate.
bringing alive our traditions and texts that has brought new meaning to my life.
I am a מגילת אסתר reader for women . the words in the Mishna of מסכת megillah 17a
הקורא את המגילה למפרע לא יצא were powerful to me.
I hope to have the zchut to complete the cycle for my 70th birthday.

Sheila Hauser
Sheila Hauser

Jerusalem, Israel

I went to day school in Toronto but really began to learn when I attended Brovenders back in the early 1980’s. Last year after talking to my sister who was learning Daf Yomi, inspired, I looked on the computer and the Hadran site came up. I have been listening to each days shiur in the morning as I work. I emphasis listening since I am not sitting with a Gamara. I listen while I work in my studio.

Rachel Rotenberg
Rachel Rotenberg

Tekoa, Israel

Margo
I started my Talmud journey in 7th grade at Akiba Jewish Day School in Chicago. I started my Daf Yomi journey after hearing Erica Brown speak at the Hadran Siyum about marking the passage of time through Daf Yomi.

Carolyn
I started my Talmud journey post-college in NY with a few classes. I started my Daf Yomi journey after the Hadran Siyum, which inspired both my son and myself.

Carolyn Hochstadter and Margo Kossoff Shizgal
Carolyn Hochstadter and Margo Kossoff Shizgal

Merion Station,  USA

Beit Shemesh, Israel

I began my Daf Yomi journey on January 5, 2020. I had never learned Talmud before. Initially it struck me as a bunch of inane and arcane details with mind bending logic. I am now smitten. Rabbanit Farber brings the page to life and I am eager to learn with her every day!

Lori Stark
Lori Stark

Highland Park, United States

In early January of 2020, I learned about Siyyum HaShas and Daf Yomi via Tablet Magazine’s brief daily podcast about the Daf. I found it compelling and fascinating. Soon I discovered Hadran; since then I have learned the Daf daily with Rabbanit Michelle Cohen Farber. The Daf has permeated my every hour, and has transformed and magnified my place within the Jewish Universe.

Lisa Berkelhammer
Lisa Berkelhammer

San Francisco, CA , United States

In January 2020 on a Shabbaton to Baltimore I heard about the new cycle of Daf Yomi after the siyum celebration in NYC stadium. I started to read “ a daily dose of Talmud “ and really enjoyed it . It led me to google “ do Orthodox women study Talmud? “ and found HADRAN! Since then I listen to the podcast every morning, participate in classes and siyum. I love to learn, this is amazing! Thank you

Sandrine Simons
Sandrine Simons

Atlanta, United States

I started learning Dec 2019 after reading “If all the Seas Were Ink”. I found
Daily daf sessions of Rabbanit Michelle in her house teaching, I then heard about the siyum and a new cycle starting wow I am in! Afternoon here in Sydney, my family and friends know this is my sacred time to hide away to live zoom and learn. Often it’s hard to absorb and relate then a gem shines touching my heart.

Dianne Kuchar
Dianne Kuchar

Dover Heights, Australia

It’s hard to believe it has been over two years. Daf yomi has changed my life in so many ways and has been sustaining during this global sea change. Each day means learning something new, digging a little deeper, adding another lens, seeing worlds with new eyes. Daf has also fostered new friendships and deepened childhood connections, as long time friends have unexpectedly become havruta.

Joanna Rom
Joanna Rom

Northwest Washington, United States

I started learning Gemara at the Yeshivah of Flatbush. And I resumed ‘ברוך ה decades later with Rabbanit Michele at Hadran. I started from Brachot and have had an exciting, rewarding experience throughout seder Moed!

Anne Mirsky (1)
Anne Mirsky

Maale Adumim, Israel

I started learning Talmud with R’ Haramati in Yeshivah of Flatbush. But after a respite of 60 years, Rabbanit Michelle lit my fire – after attending the last three world siyumim in Miami Beach, Meadowlands and Boca Raton, and now that I’m retired, I decided – “I can do this!” It has been an incredible journey so far, and I look forward to learning Daf everyday – Mazal Tov to everyone!

Roslyn Jaffe
Roslyn Jaffe

Florida, United States

I started learning Daf Yomi to fill what I saw as a large gap in my Jewish education. I also hope to inspire my three daughters to ensure that they do not allow the same Talmud-sized gap to form in their own educations. I am so proud to be a part of the Hadran community, and I have loved learning so many of the stories and halachot that we have seen so far. I look forward to continuing!
Dora Chana Haar
Dora Chana Haar

Oceanside NY, United States

I started last year after completing the Pesach Sugiyot class. Masechet Yoma might seem like a difficult set of topics, but for me made Yom Kippur and the Beit HaMikdash come alive. Liturgy I’d always had trouble connecting with took on new meaning as I gained a sense of real people moving through specific spaces in particular ways. It was the perfect introduction; I am so grateful for Hadran!

Debbie Engelen-Eigles
Debbie Engelen-Eigles

Minnesota, United States

A friend mentioned that she was starting Daf Yomi in January 2020. I had heard of it and thought, why not? I decided to try it – go day by day and not think about the seven plus year commitment. Fast forward today, over two years in and I can’t imagine my life without Daf Yomi. It’s part of my morning ritual. If I have a busy day ahead of me I set my alarm to get up early to finish the day’s daf
Debbie Fitzerman
Debbie Fitzerman

Ontario, Canada

My curiosity was peaked after seeing posts about the end of the last cycle. I am always looking for opportunities to increase my Jewish literacy & I am someone that is drawn to habit and consistency. Dinnertime includes a “Guess what I learned on the daf” segment for my husband and 18 year old twins. I also love the feelings of connection with my colleagues who are also learning.

Diana Bloom
Diana Bloom

Tampa, United States

Ketubot 8

שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ״.

Who has created all for His glory.

וְ״יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the second blessing is: Blessed are You…Creator of mankind.

וַ״אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם״.

And the third blessing is: Blessed are You…Who made humanity in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and out of His very self formed a building (see Genesis 2:22) for eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Creator of mankind.

״שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה, בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶיהָ״.

The fourth blessing is: May the barren city of Jerusalem greatly rejoice and delight with the ingathering of her children within her in joy. Blessed are You, Lord, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

״שַׂמֵּחַ תְּשַׂמַּח רֵיעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵדֶן מִקֶּדֶם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה״.

The fifth blessing is: Bring great joy to these loving friends, as You gave joy to Your creations in Eden in ancient times. Blessed are You, Lord, Who brings joy to the groom and bride.

״בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה, רִינָּה, דִּיצָה, חֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְשָׁלוֹם וְרֵיעוּת. מְהֵרָה ה׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלַיִם קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחוּפָּתָם וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם, בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה״.

The sixth blessing is: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has created joy and gladness, groom and bride, delight, exultation, happiness, jubilation, love and brotherhood, and peace and friendship. Soon, Lord our God, may there be heard in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride, the joyous sound of grooms from their wedding canopy and of young people from their feast of song (see Jeremiah 33:11). Blessed are You, Lord, Who makes the groom rejoice with the bride. Together with the blessing over the wine, these are the seven wedding blessings.

לֵוִי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַבִּי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ חֲמֵשׁ. רַב אַסִּי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב אָשֵׁי בְּהִלּוּלֵיהּ דְּמָר בְּרֵיהּ, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית.

The Gemara relates: Levi happened to come to the house of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi during the wedding celebration of Rabbi Shimon, his son, and recited five of these blessings. Rav Asi happened to come to the house of Rav Ashi during the wedding celebration of Mar, his son, and recited six of these blessings.

לֵימָא בְּהָא קָמִיפַּלְגִי: דְּמָר סָבַר חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי, וּמָר סָבַר שְׁתֵּי יְצִירוֹת הֲוַאי.

The Gemara suggests: Let us say that they disagree about this: One Sage holds: It was one act of creation with which man was created. And one Sage holds: It was two acts of creation with which man was created. The first opinion, that there was one act of creation, is based on the concept that man was created with two sides, one male and one female. There was no additional act of creation. Man and woman were subsequently separated into two independent beings. Therefore, there is no need for the two blessings: Who created mankind, and: Who created mankind in His image. The second opinion is that there were in fact two separate acts of creation. Therefore, it is appropriate to recite two blessings with regard to the creation of mankind.

לָא, דְּכוּלֵּי עָלְמָא חֲדָא יְצִירָה הֲוַאי. מָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַחְשָׁבָה אָזְלִינַן, וּמָר סָבַר בָּתַר מַעֲשֶׂה אָזְלִינַן. כִּי הָא דְּרַב יְהוּדָה רָמֵי, כְּתִיב: ״וַיִּבְרָא אֱלֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ״, וּכְתִיב: ״זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בְּרָאָם״, הָא כֵּיצַד? בַּתְּחִלָּה עָלָה בְּמַחְשָׁבָה לִבְראוֹת שְׁנַיִם, וּלְבַסּוֹף נִבְרָא אֶחָד.

The Gemara rejects that suggestion: No, everyone agrees that it was only one act of creation. However, one Sage holds: It is according to the initial thought that we proceed. And one Sage holds: It is according to the action that we proceed. God’s initial thought was to create man and woman as separate entities. Ultimately, they were created as one entity. That explanation is like the following. Rav Yehuda raises a contradiction. In one verse it is written: “And God created man in His own image” (Genesis 1:27), indicating one act of creation, and in another verse it is written: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2), indicating two acts. How can this apparent contradiction be resolved? Initially, the thought entered God’s mind to create two, but ultimately only one was actually created.

רַב אָשֵׁי אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַב כָּהֲנָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ אִי אִיכָּא פָּנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת — בָּרֵיךְ כּוּלְּהוּ, וְאִי לָא — אַפּוֹשֵׁי שִׂמְחָה בְּעָלְמָא הוּא, מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״ וַ״אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא״.

The Gemara relates: Rav Ashi happened to come to the house of Rav Kahana to attend a wedding. The first day he recited all seven blessings. From that point forward, if there were new faces present, he recited all the blessings, and if not, he would say: It is merely an extension of the original celebration, and he would recite the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, in the zimmun prior to Grace after Meals, and the sixth blessing after Grace after Meals: Who has created.

מִשִּׁבְעָה וְעַד שְׁלֹשִׁים, בֵּין אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, וּבֵין לָא אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. מִכָּאן וְאֵילָךְ, אִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא — מְבָרֵךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״, וְאִי לָא — לָא.

§ Apropos the wedding blessings, the Gemara continues: From seven days after the wedding until the thirtieth day, whether the groom said to the guests that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration or whether he did not say to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. From this point, thirty days after the wedding, forward, if he said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration [hillula], he recites the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, and if not, he doesn’t.

וְכִי אָמַר לְהוּ מֵחֲמַת הִלּוּלָא, עַד אֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פַּפִּי מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרָבָא: עַד תְּרֵיסַר יַרְחֵי שַׁתָּא. וּמֵעִיקָּרָא מֵאֵימַת? אָמַר רַב פָּפָּא: מִכִּי רְמוּ שְׂעָרֵי בַּאֲסִינְתָּא. אִינִי? וְהָא רַב פָּפָּא אִיעֲסַק לְאַבָּא מָר בְּרֵיהּ, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין! שָׁאנֵי רַב פָּפָּא, דַּהֲוָה טְרִיחַ לֵיהּ.

The Gemara asks: And when the groom said to them that he is inviting them due to the wedding celebration, until when is this blessing recited? Rav Pappi said in the name of Rava: Until twelve months of the year have passed since the wedding. Since his legal status remains that of a groom, the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy, may be recited. The Gemara asks: And initially, prior to the wedding, from when is that blessing recited? Rav Pappa said: From when they cast barley into the mortar to prepare beer for the wedding. The Gemara asks: Is that so? But didn’t Rav Pappa involve himself in preparations for the wedding of his son, Abba Mar, and begin reciting the blessing from the time of betrothal? Rav Pappa is different, because the wedding preparations had already been prepared for him, and it was merely a matter of waiting for the designated time to arrive. Therefore, the wedding celebration began for him from the time of betrothal.

רָבִינָא אִיעֲסַק לֵיהּ לִבְרֵיהּ בֵּי רַב חֲבִיבָא, וּבָרֵיךְ מִשְּׁעַת אֵירוּסִין. אָמַר: קִים לִי בְּגַוַּיְיהוּ דְּלָא הָדְרִי בְּהוּ. לָא אִסְתַּיַּיע מִילְּתָא וְהָדְרִי בְּהוּ. רַב תַּחְלִיפָא בַּר מַעְרְבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבָבֶל, בָּרֵיךְ שֵׁית אֲרִיכָתָא. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ.

The Gemara relates: Ravina arranged for his son to marry a woman from the house of Rav Ḥaviva and recited the blessing from the time of betrothal. He said: I am certain with regard to them, that they will not retract their commitment and terminate the betrothal, and the wedding will take place on time. Nevertheless, the matter was not to be, and ultimately they retracted their commitment, and the wedding was canceled. The Gemara relates: Rav Taḥlifa, from the West, i.e., Eretz Yisrael, happened to come to Babylonia, and he elaborated on the themes of the wedding blessings and recited six long blessings. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Rather, one must adhere to the formula coined by the Sages.

רַב חֲבִיבָא אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי מָהוֹלָא, בָּרֵיךְ ״שֶׁהַשִּׂמְחָה בִּמְעוֹנוֹ״. וְלֵית הִלְכְתָא כְּווֹתֵיהּ — מִשּׁוּם דִּטְרִידִי דְּאִית לֵיהּ צַעֲרָא לְיָנוֹקָא.

It is further related: Rav Ḥaviva happened to come to the house where a circumcision was taking place. He recited the blessing: In Whose dwelling is joy. The Gemara concludes: And the halakha is not in accordance with his opinion. Since the parents of the baby are anxious, as the baby is experiencing pain, it is not appropriate to recite the blessing under those circumstances.

אָמַר רַב נַחְמָן אָמַר רַב: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן! מַתְנִיתָא קָא רָמֵית עֲלֵיהּ דְּרַב? רַב תַּנָּא הוּא, וּפְלִיג. אִיתְּמַר, אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: חֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. מֵיתִיבִי: חֲתָנִים וַאֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן!

§ Rav Naḥman said that Rav said: With regard to the quorum of ten required to recite the wedding blessings, grooms are included in the tally. And mourners are not included in the tally for the blessing of the mourners. The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally. The Gemara responds: Are you raising a contradiction from a baraita against the opinion of Rav? Rav himself had tanna status and therefore, unlike later amora’im, could disagree with opinions of tanna’im. It was stated: Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: Grooms are included in the tally, but mourners are not included in the tally. The Gemara raises an objection from the baraita cited above: Grooms and mourners are included in the tally.

כִּי תַּנְיָא הָהִיא — בְּבִרְכַּת הַמָּזוֹן, כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן — בְּשׁוּרָה.

The Gemara answers: When that baraita is taught, it is with regard to combining with others to form a quorum of three to recite Grace after Meals, as a mourner is obligated to recite Grace after Meals. However, when Rabbi Yoḥanan says that mourners are not included in the tally, it is with regard to the quorum of ten men required to form a line to comfort the mourners following the burial.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִים בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בְּרָכָה בְּשׁוּרָה מִי אִיכָּא? אֶלָּא כִּי קָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בִּרְחָבָה.

And the Gemara raises an objection: However, that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten, and the grooms are included in the tally, and one recites the blessing of the mourners in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally. Is there a blessing recited in the line formed to comfort the mourners? Clearly, this statement of Rabbi Yoḥanan cannot be explained as referring to the line. Rather, when Rabbi Yoḥanan said that mourners are not included in the tally, it was with regard to the blessing recited in the square adjacent to the cemetery, where the meal of comfort takes place and various blessings are recited to comfort the mourners. Mourners are not included in the requisite quorum of ten.

וְאֶלָּא הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן: מְבָרְכִין בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וַחֲתָנִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. וּבִרְכַּת אֲבֵלִים בַּעֲשָׂרָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה, וְאֵין אֲבֵלִים מִן הַמִּנְיָן. בִּרְכַּת רְחָבָה כׇּל שִׁבְעָה מִי אִיכָּא? מַשְׁכַּחַתְּ לַהּ בְּפָנִים חֲדָשׁוֹת.

The Gemara asks: However, with regard to that which Rabbi Yitzḥak said that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: One recites the blessing of the grooms in a quorum of ten all seven days of celebration, and the grooms are included in the tally; and one recites the blessing of the mourners all seven days of mourning in a quorum of ten, and the mourners are not included in the tally, is there a blessing recited in the square all seven days? The meal of comfort and the associated blessings take place directly after the burial, not throughout the seven days of mourning. The Gemara answers: You find blessings recited throughout the seven-day mourning period in a case where new faces who did not attend the burial are present. In that case, eulogies and words of comfort are repeated, and the blessing of the mourners is recited again.

כִּי הָא דְּרַב חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא מַקְרֵי בְּנֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ מַתְנִי בְּרֵיהּ דְּרֵישׁ לָקִישׁ הֲוָה. שְׁכֵיב לֵיהּ יָנוֹקָא. יוֹמָא קַמָּא לָא אֲזַל לְגַבֵּיהּ. לִמְחַר דַּבְרֵיהּ לִיהוּדָה בַּר נַחְמָנִי מְתוּרְגְּמָנֵיהּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כׇּל קֳבֵיל יָנוֹקָא. פְּתַח וַאֲמַר: ״וַיַּרְא ה׳ וַיִּנְאָץ מִכַּעַס בָּנָיו וּבְנוֹתָיו״, דּוֹר שֶׁאָבוֹת מְנָאֲצִים לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא — כּוֹעֵס עַל בְּנֵיהֶם וְעַל בְּנוֹתֵיהֶם, וּמֵתִים כְּשֶׁהֵם קְטַנִּים.

§ This is similar to that incident involving Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba, who was the Bible teacher of the sons of Reish Lakish, and some say that he was the Mishna teacher of the son of Reish Lakish. His child died. On the first day, Reish Lakish did not go to comfort him. The next day, he took Yehuda bar Naḥmani, his disseminator, with him to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba. Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a matter of comfort with regard to the death of the child. He began and said: “And the Lord saw it and He abhorred them, due to the provocation of His sons and His daughters” (Deuteronomy 32:19). A generation in which the fathers abhor the Holy One, Blessed be He, He is angered at their sons and their daughters, and they die when they are small.

וְאִיכָּא דְּאָמְרִי בָּחוּר הֲוָה. וְהָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: ״עַל כֵּן עַל בַּחוּרָיו לֹא יִשְׂמַח ה׳ וְאֶת יְתוֹמָיו וְאֶת אַלְמְנוֹתָיו לֹא יְרַחֵם כִּי כֻלּוֹ חָנֵף וּמֵרַע וְכׇל פֶּה דֹּבֵר נְבָלָה בְּכׇל זֹאת לֹא שָׁב אַפּוֹ וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״. מַאי ״וְעוֹד יָדוֹ נְטוּיָה״? אָמַר רַב חָנָן בַּר רַב: הַכֹּל יוֹדְעִין כַּלָּה לָמָּה נִכְנְסָה לַחוּפָּה. אֶלָּא, כׇּל הַמְנַבֵּל פִּיו, וּמוֹצִיא דְּבַר נְבָלָה מִפִּיו, אֲפִלּוּ נֶחְתַּם לוֹ גְּזַר דִּינוֹ שֶׁל שִׁבְעִים שָׁנָה לְטוֹבָה — נֶהְפָּךְ עָלָיו לְרָעָה.

And there are those who say that the child who died was not a small child, but a youth, and this is what the disseminator said to him: “Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, nor shall He have compassion on their orphans and widows, for everyone is a flatterer and an evildoer, and every mouth speaks obscenity. For all this His anger is not turned away, and His hand is still outstretched” (Isaiah 9:16). What is the meaning of the phrase “And His hand is still outstretched”? Rav Ḥanan bar Rav said: Everyone knows why a bride enters the wedding canopy. It is the step before consummation of the marriage. However, one should not speak about it unnecessarily, as anyone who profanes his mouth and issues a matter of profanity from his mouth, even if a positive decree of seventy years was sealed for him, nevertheless, it is transformed for him into an evil decree.

אֲתָא לְנַחוֹמֵי — צַעוֹרֵי קָמְצַעַר לֵיהּ! הָכִי קָאָמַר לֵיהּ: חֲשִׁיב אַתְּ לְאִתְּפוֹסֵי אַדָּרָא.

The Gemara asks about this incident: He came at the behest of Reish Lakish to comfort Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and instead he upset him by attributing the death of his son to his transgressions! The Gemara answers: It was not his intention to upset Rav Ḥiyya bar Abba and to attribute the death of his son to his actions. Rather, this is what he is saying to him: You are sufficiently significant to be seized, i.e., to die or suffer, for the sins of the generation, as it is specifically the righteous few who are punished for the transgressions of a sinful generation.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד שְׁבָחוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״הָאֵל הַגָּדוֹל בְּרוֹב גׇּדְלוֹ, אַדִּיר וְחָזָק בְּרוֹב נוֹרָאוֹת, מְחַיֵּה מֵתִים בְּמַאֲמָרוֹ, עוֹשֶׂה גְדוֹלוֹת עַד אֵין חֵקֶר וְנִפְלָאוֹת עַד אֵין מִסְפָּר. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה׳ מְחַיֵּה הַמֵּתִים״.

Reish Lakish said to his disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the praiseworthiness of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He began and said: God, Who is great in the abundance of His greatness, mighty and strong in the abundance of His awesome deeds, Who revives the dead in fulfillment of His statement, Who does great deeds beyond comprehension, wondrous deeds without number. Blessed are You, Lord, Who revives the dead.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד אֲבֵלִים, פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ הַמְיוּגָּעִים, הַמְדוּכָּאִין בָּאֵבֶל הַזֶּה, תְּנוּ לְבַבְכֶם לַחְקוֹר אֶת זֹאת. זֹאת הִיא עוֹמֶדֶת לָעַד, נָתִיב הוּא מִשֵּׁשֶׁת יְמֵי בְרֵאשִׁית. רַבִּים שָׁתוּ, רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ. כְּמִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים כָּךְ מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים. אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל נֶחָמוֹת יְנַחֵם אֶתְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ מְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים״.

Reish Lakish said to him: Stand and say a statement with regard to the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed by this mourning, set your heart to examine this: This is what stands forever. It is a path from the six days of Creation, i.e., death exists since Creation, and it is well known that this is the fate of man. Many have drunk from the poisonous cup of death, and many will drink. As was the consequence of the drink of the first who have drunk, so too will be the consequence of the drink of the last who will drink. Our brothers, may the Master of solace comfort you. Blessed are You, Lord, Who comforts the mourners.

אָמַר אַבָּיֵי: ״רַבִּים שָׁתוּ״ — לֵימָא. ״רַבִּים יִשְׁתּוּ״ — לָא לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה רִאשׁוֹנִים״ — לֵימָא. ״מִשְׁתֵּה אַחֲרוֹנִים״ — לָא לֵימָא. דְּאָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן לָקִישׁ, וְכֵן תָּנָא מִשְּׁמֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יִפְתַּח אָדָם פִּיו לַשָּׂטָן. אָמַר רַב יוֹסֵף, מַאי קְרָא: ״כִּסְדוֹם הָיִינוּ לַעֲמוֹרָה דָּמִינוּ״. מַאי אַהְדַּר לֵיהּ — ״שִׁמְעוּ דְבַר ה׳ קְצִינֵי סְדוֹם וְגוֹ׳״.

Abaye said with regard to the statement concerning the mourners: Let him say: Many have drunk; let him not say: Many will drink. Let him say: The drink of the first; let him not say: The drink of the last. This is as Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said, and likewise it was taught in the name of Rabbi Yosei: A person should never open his mouth to Satan and speculate about potential disasters. Rav Yosef said: What is the verse from which it is derived? “We should have almost been as Sodom, we should have been like unto Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:9), after which, what did the prophet reply to them? “Hear the word of the Lord, rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, people of Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:10). Isaiah drew the analogy and immediately it was realized.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד מְנַחֲמֵי אֲבֵלִים. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״אַחֵינוּ גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים בְּנֵי גּוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים, הַמַּחְזִיקִים בִּבְרִיתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ (שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ׳כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת בָּנָיו וְגוֹ׳׳). אַחֵינוּ, בַּעַל הַגְּמוּל יְשַׁלֵּם לָכֶם גְּמוּלְכֶם. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, מְשַׁלֵּם הַגְּמוּל״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to those who comfort the mourners. He began and said: Our brothers, bestowers of loving-kindness, sons of bestowers of loving-kindness, who embrace the covenant of Abraham our Patriarch, as it is stated: “For I know him, that he will command his children…to do righteousness and justice” (Genesis 18:19). Our brothers, may the Master of reward pay you your just deserts. Blessed are You, Lord, Who pays the just deserts.

אֲמַר לֵיהּ: קוּם אֵימָא מִלְּתָא כְּנֶגֶד כׇּל יִשְׂרָאֵל. פָּתַח וְאָמַר: ״רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים, פְּדֵה וְהַצֵּל, מַלֵּט, הוֹשַׁע עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַדֶּבֶר וּמִן הַחֶרֶב וּמִן הַבִּיזָּה וּמִן הַשִּׁדָּפוֹן וּמִן הַיֵּרָקוֹן וּמִכׇּל מִינֵי פּוּרְעָנִיּוֹת הַמִּתְרַגְּשׁוֹת וּבָאוֹת לָעוֹלָם, טֶרֶם נִקְרָא וְאַתָּה תַּעֲנֶה. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, עוֹצֵר הַמַּגֵּפָה״.

Reish Lakish said to the disseminator: Stand and say a statement with regard to the entire Jewish people. He began and said: Master of the worlds, redeem and save, rescue and deliver Your people, Israel, from the pestilence and from the sword, and from spoil, and from the blight, and from the mildew, and from all types of afflictions that suddenly erupt and come to the world. Before we call and You will respond. Blessed are You, Lord, Who halts the plague. Apparently, several blessings are recited on the days following the burial.

אֲמַר עוּלָּא, וְאָמְרִי לַהּ בְּמַתְנִיתָא תָּנָא: עֲשָׂרָה כּוֹסוֹת תִּקְּנוּ חֲכָמִים בְּבֵית הָאֵבֶל: שְׁלֹשָׁה קוֹדֶם אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִפְתּוֹחַ אֶת בְּנֵי מֵעָיו. שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּתוֹךְ אֲכִילָה, כְּדֵי לִשְׁרוֹת אֲכִילָה שֶׁבְּמֵעָיו. וְאַרְבָּעָה לְאַחַר אֲכִילָה, אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַזָּן״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בִּרְכַּת הָאָרֶץ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״בּוֹנֵה יְרוּשָׁלָיִם״, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד ״הַטּוֹב וְהַמֵּטִיב״.

§ In connection with comforting mourners, Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: The Sages instituted ten cups of wine to be drunk in the house of the mourner: Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines, i.e., whet his appetite; three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines in order to facilitate digestion; and four cups after the meal, each corresponding to a blessing in the Grace after Meals. One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all; one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land; one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem; and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.

הוֹסִיפוּ עֲלֵיהֶם אַרְבָּעָה: אֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד חַזָּנֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד פַּרְנָסֵי הָעִיר, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, וְאֶחָד כְּנֶגֶד רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל. הִתְחִילוּ (הָיוּ) שׁוֹתִין וּמִשְׁתַּכְּרִין, הֶחְזִירוּ הַדָּבָר לְיוֹשְׁנָהּ.

Later, the Sages added to those four additional blessings: One, noting the actions of the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir], who tend to burials and other communal needs; one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city, who would provide funding for the burial of the poor; one, noting the Temple, commemorating its destruction; and one, noting the actions of Rabban Gamliel. The people began observing this ordinance instituted by the Sages, and they would drink and become intoxicated. Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status and established that they drink no more than ten cups.

מַאי רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל? דְּתַנְיָא: בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה הָיְתָה הוֹצָאַת הַמֵּת קָשָׁה לִקְרוֹבָיו יוֹתֵר מִמִּיתָתוֹ, עַד שֶׁהָיוּ מַנִּיחִים אוֹתוֹ וּבוֹרְחִין. עַד שֶׁבָּא רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל וְנָהַג קַלּוּת בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְהוֹצִיאוּהוּ בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. וְנָהֲגוּ כׇּל הָעָם אַחֲרָיו לְהוֹצִיא בִּכְלֵי פִשְׁתָּן. אֲמַר רַב פָּפָּא: וְהָאִידָּנָא נְהוּג עָלְמָא אֲפִילּוּ בְּצַרְדָּא בַּר זוּזָא.

What is the connection between Rabban Gamliel and a house of mourning? It is as it is taught in a baraita: Initially, the funeral expenditures for the deceased were more taxing for his relatives than his death, as the burials were opulent, until it reached a point where people would abandon the deceased and flee. This continued until Rabbi Gamliel came and conducted himself in a self-deprecatory manner, instructing the people that they were to take him for burial in plain linen garments. And all the people conducted themselves following his example, and instructed their families to take them for burial in plain linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And today, everyone is accustomed to bury the dead in plain garments, even in rough cloth [tzerada] worth one zuz.

אֲמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר:

Rabbi Elazar said:

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